Friday, August 17, 2012

When Almost Everyone Has The Same Little Secret, Is It Still A Secret?



I have been told by an old wise man that - like everyone else - I need to recognize and respect everyone's "capacity", or their ability to understand and handle things. I often try to, so I am issuing this warning:

Stop reading this if you want to right now.

While our individual capacity is generally pretty shitty and we often give each other credit for how well we politely lie, finesse, nuance and allegorically suggest things, our collective capacity is pretty damn good.

This is why we can hear stuff at concerts that we can't hear individually; or why people can casually hear and acknowledge me as a performance artist working the streets as long as I don't target individuals or expect anything from them. I can walk around talking, yelling, rapping or singing loudly or quietly just about anywhere and as long as I physically stay out of people's way, don't target individuals, and I am polite and brief when people casually say hello, everyone either does or they ignore me like I ignore them.

I think everyone is the same and can prove it daily by interacting with everyone. So, feel free to relax and casually acknowledge each other. It is usually much easier silently in a culture where many people are afraid to say and hear the wrong things, so I recommend it to get the most people casually saying hello to you.

Back to capacity for a bit. If you hear someone say "it's us against the world" you might scoff. However, if you saw Coldplay play at the Air Canada Centre in Toronto last month (or elsewhere) and Chris Martin sing "through chaos as it swirls, it's us against the world..." off their new album (Mylo Xyloto - which is fun upbeat urgency at its finest) then you'd probably sing along. This is generally true for people at concerts and so on. This is also the main reason my street-theatre, performance artist, town crier (etc.) approach works so well. 

Incidentally, burning through my great white-collar job savings money after leaving it to wander around and clean this crap up prevented me from buying tickets to the Coldplay show and do tons of other normal stuff that can help prove I am "normal" which is really important and what (ironically) I get the most credit for, in part because it is so good to confirm after I push the limits of what is possible in our quiet culture. It's cool though, the louder people let me talk the louder they will let each other talk, so as long as I am the business of expressing myself on behalf of other people I am making it easier for everyone else to express themselves too. 

So, please consider donating to help me help you and others relax by anonymously depositing money in my bank account. I'm doing it this way because I don't keep a hat handy to collect money where I am performing, plus I am making it easy for you to preserve your plausible deniability when it comes to these difficult-to-discuss issues while I help preserve your sanity by discussing them in ways that work.

You don't have to discuss your decision with anyone including me; you just have to hook me up anonymously however you want and then walk away guilt-free. Then I can do more normal stuff well (and at-times even better than most) which will help me understand people better and give me more credibility with them which will help push the good ideas to a wider audience across the country which will help you relax even more.

It may seem strange, but it's all I could think of and it's working, which is why I continue working on it.

I got this. I just need some help continuing to get it for you as well. 

TD Bank Account: 3058-6062898

With that said, I am in revelation of the method mode to finish this little project and have thoughts below that may stretch your individual capacity. This is because I had to stretch mine to deal with things that were pissing people off that they had trouble talking about. I know I have said all the stuff below countless times to countless people in public who generally appreciate it. But, I am not sure how much people online can take just sitting in front of flickering screens by themselves without seeing others be okay with hearing it too. 

So: stop reading this if you want to right now.




"With all this extra stressin',
The question I wonder, is after death, 
After my last breath, when will I finally get to rest?
Through this oppression, they punish the people that's asking questions, 
And those that possess, steal from the ones without possessions, 
The message I stress, to make you stop, study your lessons, 
Don't settle for less, even a genius ask'ses questions, 
Be grateful for blessings, don't ever change, keep your essence, 
The power is in the people, and politics we address,
Always do your best, don't less this pressure make you panic, 
And when you get stranded, and things don't go the way you planned it, 
Dreamin' of riches, in a position of making a difference, 
Politicians are hypocrites, they don't wanna listen, 
If I'm insane, if the fame made a brother change, 
It wasn't nuthin' like the game, it's just me against the world..."

- 2Pac, "Me Against the World", (Me Against the World)


Since I am on this little journey to help people get along instead of being turned into animals by myself, except for a few hundred or even a few thousand people a day saying hello like it's our little secret by rubbing their nose, ear, hair and so on, sometimes I use music to help me achieve our goals.

The good news is most great music is the same, or a Baskin Robbins 31 Flavours of Beating Bullshit collection from 2Pac to Coldplay to Bob (Dylan, Marley, etc.) and so on. This is basically why the greats make music. I just have a more technical approach to reaching out to everybody successfully in the most diverse city in the world and translating our favourite artists' ideas into social physics principles and others.

Or: "if I'm insane, if the fame made a brother change, it wasn't nuthin' like the game, it's just me against the world..." which helps explain why some people may need to do things differently if they want to make a difference. I'm not crazy. I'm just pointing out why normal people need to stop doing crazy things to themselves and other people when doing crazy things became normal - which was (is?) crazy. Since most people in our culture don't want to do this, or "tell people what to do" (so I guess only the TV can, right? Bullshit.) then it may seem crazy. But, when most people relax more and most say hello, I guess it's not.

Or: perhaps it's better to explain than complain. 

The better news is that since nearly everyone says hello to me like the whole "people should stop being needy and creepy with strangers and men and women should stay that way and support each other unless they make a conscious effort to change and do it well so they are relaxed too" is our little secret, that means everybody gets it and we can all see that reflected in their actions and their response to me pointing it out.

Just yesterday I was saying in my third-person alpha male persona sort-of "around" but sort-of not "to" a bunch of girls (so they don't feel like they have to verbally respond) who were casually saying hello and flirting with me that "you are so much more fun when you are not bothered all day and night by strange guys!" and  "you are so relaxed, bored and mischievous - the perfect flirty storm!" after which they proceeded to flirt and (sometimes tug on their ears to show they understand and) happily leave.

This is a lot of fun and frankly the girls need the attention more than men need to give it to them, plus they usually can't move very fast to get very far so they need more fun ways to spend time on their journey as hot-moving-scenery as part of their voluntary public service when they feel like it. So, we need to work together on how to hook each other up so we can all be happy. Women want to flirt with men who treat them well and men want to flirt too, so it works. Our physical ability to treat each other well should positively influence our verbal interactions, or people who are generally relaxed and friendly in non-verbal and physical ways should see them verbally relax as well, including women who want to keep the good times rollin'. 


"When she was just a girl, she expected the world,
But it flew away from her reach, so she ran away in her sleep,
And dreamed of para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise,
Every time she closed her eyes..."

- Coldplay, "Paradise", (Mylo Xyloto)

Frankly, as a poor excuse for a man trying to get rich, I like the listen to the hard stuff before taking in the soft stuff and (for example) use the energy of a much younger man (like the late great 2Pac) to augment that of a much older and possibly a little wiser one (me - based on solely on life experience if you'd like, plus the old-timers didn't have the innernets to piece things together easier like we do today - suckers! - joke :).

So, while my mood changes from day to day and minute to minute, I listened to the above song (Me Against the World) when I woke up this morning and and before that the previous one (If I Die 2Nite) that starts off the album with the quote: "a coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier dies but once" and "they say pussy is paper, poetry, power and pistols, plottin' on murderous motherfuckers 'fore they get you, picturing pitiful punk niggaz coppin' pleas, puffin' weed as I position myself, to clock g's..." and (2nd verse) lyrics like:


"Polish yo' pistols, prepare for battle, pass the pump, 
When I gets to poppin', niggaz is droppin', then they done, 
Callin' the coroner, come collect the fuckin' corpse, 
He got hit by a killa, pre-occupied with being boss, 
Revenge is the method, whenever steppin', keep a weapon close, 
Adversaries will overdose, over deadly notes, 
Jealous niggaz and broke bitches equal packed jails, 
Hit the block and fill ya pockets makin' crack sales, 
Picture perfection, pursuin' paper with a passion, 
Visions of prisons for all the pussies that I blasted, 
Runnin' with criminals, individuals with no remorse, 
Try to stop me, my pistol-posse using deadly force, 
In my brain, all I can think about is fame, 
The police know my name, 
A different game, ain't a thing changed, 
I'm seein' cemetaries, photos of my peers, 
Conversatin' like they still here, 
If I die tonite..." 

- 2Pac, "If I Die 2Nite", (Me Against the World) 


The above, from my perspective, is more or less true, with a few allegorical changes.

As I left the house yesterday morning quietly joking and singing "Just another day, for a disarmed slave, in Communist Canada..." in a Bob Dylan voice, I reflected on how this works (again).

I often change gun-talk to verbal-glock talk, so "when I gets to poppin', niggaz is droppin', then they done" applies to me calling out guys who bother me by staring at me, trying to get me to stare at them for a long time, or getting physically close when I clearly don't want them to and saying out loud (eg.) "piss off creepy guy" and then explaining it to everyone else. Or, by saying "come on over creepy guys - this 3D stuff works better than PowerPoint or even a SmartPhone app to explain things and I will just use you to scare the rest of them - now - do the rest of you guys want to turn into a creepy guy or run into one?" and no guys - when they consciously see and think about it - actually do. Many just scratch their heads in frustration over how screwed up they were acting; others have moved on and many just casually acknowledge what I say.

As I said the other lyrics apply too, from "visions of prisons for all the pussies that I blasted" meaning how mad I was at men routinely threatening women all day and night who I yelled at for a year to stop them; to "the police know my name, a different game, ain't a thing changed" because they do from my efforts since 2006 to say hi to them on a regular basis and suggest on my radio show and elsewhere that other people do the same in friendly ways to make sure they were chilled out and weren't brainwashed into attacking the people in our city as much as they do in others; (fast-forwarding) to 2010 when I tried to shut down G20 Martial Law and the protests; to 2011 in Ottawa when I walked around physically confronting big and small guys stalking girls with (among other things) a glass bottle of Arizona Ice Tea to give me an instant weapon advantage and mitigate their response (and when I think I had to start keeping my cellphone on or the cops would get mad at me for whatever reason - it's none of my business - but I am counting on me being surveilled to help change the attitudes of all of the people spying on all of us); to 2012 in Toronto when the evolution of this method finally became more comprehensive and inclusive and I finally got nearly everyone around me on board with most of these ideas as far as I can tell on a daily basis wherever I go in my city.

Plus of course there's "I'm seein' cemetaries, photos of my peers, conversatin' like they' still here, if I die tonite..." which applies to all the guys who were acting nervous, needy, creepy, feminine and threatening with each other and jealously bothering girls which was (and is I guess for some) completely insane. That's why after getting all their girls and getting their attention, I was able to talk to them, chill them out and give the men their girls back who - 'cause they're girls - are designed to want to be caught and yet hard to catch. Done.

To give myself a sense of urgency, this ("If I Die 2Nite") song might be my favourite song right now which almost no one else can really relate to in the same way. The last lines are: "take a look, picture a crook on his last stand, motherfuckers don't understand, if I die tonite..." which helps me continue to make sure they do before I do; or just in case I am not around to help explain things. Acting like animals is a sure way for a bunch of nice people with a bunch of nice stuff to lose it all, so it's probably better that we stop anyway.

However, there are many other ways to explain things and in our image-driven culture where most people don't like reading as much (I told you that you didn't have to read this didn't I?) and it can help if you use both audio and visual aids that most people can relate to, especially when they've already worked to some degree. As I often do, I will use mainstream artists that lots of people like to back me up. For example. 


"Thoughts come flying at the speed of sound, 
To show you how it all begain, 
Thoughts came flying from the underground, 
If you could see it then you'd understand..." 

- Coldplay, "Speed of Sound", (X&Y)


The above lyrics help explain why I chose or had to take this approach and are pretty self-explanatory. In fact, when I quote them around lots of people and explain it nearly everyone seems to understand.

In more fact, the whole "X&Y" album seems to me like it is about how men and women can get along better and I strongly recommend really listening to it and trying to believe in it if you haven't or haven't in a while. While it may seem cheesy, you can always go back to normal fun and at-times selfish, stupid and even semi-psychopathic entertainment choices anytime anyway, so don't worry about it.

Just try to relax and use it get along better with people if you can. 

To break the above lyrics down more precisely, the "thoughts" at the "speed of sound" are mine and my voice; while "how it all began" is about men taking a protective attitude towards women who always have and always will chill-out and appreciate it; the "underground" represents the unusual approach to putting ideas out in our culture with no other suitable vehicle to make the big changes needed; and "if you could see it then you'd understand" represents the fact that once people see what is happening and how I interact successfully with most men and women, or exchange a little respect with everyone to avoid losing any so all the guys and girls see each other do it and know it is safe to say hello; plus staying busy so bored women can distract me to feel compelling and attractive while genuinely competing for the attention they seek and winning it and also assuming it is safe to try because I will probably go back to being busy instead of bothering them, they not only understand how I work, they more importantly also understand how they work because they are all involved in the process at every step of the way, or at least those I interact with, which includes millions of people in the aggregate mostly in Ottawa and Toronto.

That is the main reason I continued operating like this and will continue to do so while evolving my approach as long as I can find ways to be financially supported by the people in my culture who I help like some social engineering super-busker who wants to do much more then entertain people.

While I am sure the Michael Phelps winning 74 gold medals at the Olympics for swimming well is impressive, you should just ask yourself what the hell that does for you versus the efforts I have undertaken and tried to explain here. I'm not opposed to him or anyone else; I just want to get my respect too.

Anyway, as the all-purpose "relax and forget and move on if you want" phrase goes, at 3000 words here I have probably said too much. Or, perhaps not enough. That is entirely up to you after you leaving it entirely up to me. I assume that I will be able to finish this project and help people relax with their help.

We'll see. I look forward to finding out and want to thank you for your support so far, it has been working so far on a number of levels and can work even better. However, after getting closer to everyone and further away from anyone for a while, I would like to change that. I will have more for you later. I always do.



Vijay Sarma
Ask Vij Consulting
Helping you figure out...


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Women Are the Battlefield (Interesting Article + Post-Scriptease)

Homie sent me this article and it is well-worth the read, or "short enough, and in equal measure personal / academic enough, that you can pass along to the interested in the midst of some easier fare to swallow", which I agree with, plus the huge list of comments below it are interesting as well. The loss of masculinity is directly related to the loss of femininity and vice versa, so check it out as you'd like to inform your decisions.

I have also included my world-weary response as an option to review below. 




Women Are the Battlefield

Thursday, August 02, 2012 6:00 AM Comments (117)

Reader Elisa Choffel Low writes,
I'd love to see a post on how to get beyond the two sides of finger pointing to address sexual woundedness in our culture. On one side [people say that] it's all the fault of feminism and women dressing immodestly, and on the other side it's that the patriarchy has oppressed women and objectified them.

The closest thing I have seen to anyone getting beyond this back and forth was when a guy in a combox commented that women need to understand that men are visually stimulated and out of compassion should dress more modestly, and a woman responded that the best thing he could do was to recognize that women have a deep need to feel valued and admired and so next time he interacted with a woman he should compliment or affirm her in some way.
What an insightful suggestion.  There is nothing so effective for cutting through sexual tension as a little bit of grace and extra courtesy.  There are several generations of women who grew up with no father in the house (or with a series of mom's predatory boyfriends).  Girls who grow up never hearing a man say, "You look pretty" or "I like how you do X, Y or Z" often become women who will settle for hearing any male say, "You're so hot" or "I'd like to do you."

But  . . . what about the men?  What about the boys growing up with no father?  Don't they matter?  Why is it always the men who have to change their behavior first?  Why is it always about what women need?
Every so often, I hear from a man who has had it up to here with essays that exhort men to do more, be more, try harder.  They've given it all, and they've had enough.  They're extremely and understandably bitter, because all the women they know expect to be treated like princesses, but give nothing in return.  These women expect men follow the age-old modes of Catholic manhood, but they never  make any of the sacrifices that traditional Catholic womanhood imposes on women -- and the family court system is often blindly favors moms.

I know that some of these stories must be true.  I've seen it myself:  I once had a neighbor who demanded incredible chivalry from her husband, expecting him to do all the things a man has always done, plus three-quarters of her job, too -- and then she would mock him in front of her friends for being tired, for folding the laundry wrong, for being old.  There was literally no pleasing her; she was perpetually angry and dissatisfied.  Eventually she took the children and left, keeping contact only to complain about how difficult single motherhood turned out to be.  So yes, these women exist!

And yes, it's tiresome to always hear about women, women, women and their problems.

But if the stories the bitter men tell are true, there is also another story -- a much, much older one.  The story is the battle between good and evil.  And, as a commenter in my last post said, "Women are the battlefield."  We see this daily in the news:  the battle for religious freedom centers on "women's issues" like contraception and abortion; the battle for bodily integrity is fought in the womb of an illegally pregnant Chinese woman.  When abortions are elective or infanticide is tolerated, it's baby girls who die.  Name some social ill, large or small, and you will find women at the center.  War criminals know this:  this is why systematic rape is such an effective weapon against the entire community.

It's even in Revelations:

The woman, the queen clothed with the sun, is in childbirth, crying out and in pain -- and there is a dragon, waiting to swallow her child when it is born.  In terrible pain and anxiety, she struggles to push the child, the savior, out of herself, only to meet the horror of having her child taken away, devoured.  The woman herself is not the savior; but without her, there is no savior.  Her body is the battlefield.

Most of the Catholic women I know don't need to hear more exhortations to work hard, sacrifice ourselves, put our families first, be generous.  We already do these things, and we drive each other crazy making impossible demands on ourselves and each other.  This is how it feels to be the center of a culture war:  it feels -- exhausting.

Women are noisy, demanding.  We are always calling out to be saved, or at least to be heard.  Sometimes, as a woman, I feel abashed at my own nature:  I feel greedy, or weak, or imperious when I need help or attention-- when I take my own problems seriously -- when I have to stamp my foot and insist on being treated well, even if it's a clear and basic need.  Even when I'm only thinking of the good of the family.

Sometimes it would be easier just to be quiet.  But what can I do?  I am a battlefield.

So, to the men I know who have been wounded, scorned, castigated and ruined by women:  I am sorry.  I am sorry.  I apologize to you on behalf of my sex.  You must feel like a solider who steps off the plane at home, only to be spit on and screamed at by foolish, pampered protestors who have no idea that these troops are the ones who are defending their very freedom to protest.

But please remember:  those protestors, they are a small minority.  There is a grateful nation at home, an entire race of women you'll never meet, who reap the benefits of your struggle every day.  We know that you keep society going by working hard, by being good to children, by defending the weak, by using your strength and your courage to promote peace and justice in society -- in short, by acting like men.

In short, by being good to women.

Women are the battlefield.  Just remember that, when you're at war, not everyone you meet is the enemy.  If you want to win the war between good and evil, it is to women that you will have to come.


(See the comments at the original link for more, my response to my buddy is below - BlogEd.)


danke doodie, this is a great lil' article and i agree, worth passing on for the reasons you suggest, plus due to the lack of an over-arching framework, or da man wanting to turn us into hermaphrodite slaves. icky. i read the "too fat + more sex" comment among the staggering amount there and it reminds me of work environments i've been in where the chicks can talk shit about doods but doods can't reciprocate and the resulting erosion of male self self-esteem is an astute observation.

i can see what's been happening when i see how doods are acting, or how they are powerless to respond in normal and natural ways which include teasing chicks and not having them freak out and have a politcally correct craptasm. that's why i'm hoping the physical ways men can chill chicks out will lead to more of a verbal detente, it's plausible and we'll see if it's manfestable on a wide scale. i know people are down and everybody looks at me like we have a secret, so everybody does and is in on it.

more on the article later i'm sure, this topic keeps going and going and even marketers know if you get the chicks you get everyone else who can't stand to hear them complain, especially when men aren't allowed to explain. yet.

fortunately, i'm still clearing a lane here and hopefully elsewhere by poppin' off about these issues. i may sound like a broken record, but i'm a working man and not a broken one and these programmable people (man-girlin'? girl-manin'?) just need to be re-programmed. i was mixing polite-speak dropping off flyers at businesses on bloor and yonge with barkin', especially at the eaton centre where over the last nine months we've seen a massive drop-off in socially acceptable bullshit.

i also realize if i don't get that "need to keep it real and talky loud and proud" stuff out of my system i'm a wreck. i need outlets to transcend the banality and think others are the same to varying degrees. music is good for that; hearing or making it. hopefully we can figure out how to make it easier for people to find their own outlets.

or, to quoth the great everlast: "runnin' for the ride, i can't go inside, i'd rather that i die, i got too much pride, i guess it's just somethin' that you can't understand, my gun's in my hand, tell me who's the man..."

this braggadocius brahmin bum ain't never in the clear yet and it always comes down to the same shit: people putting their money where my mouth is. unless i get the finances to ball instead of just balls i'm going to have to give it up and i'm working on working on it, but after re-writing, thickening up and watering down my website a bunch of times and figuring out whether or not to go mainstream, i realize that i'm in this to win this as a performance artist who can cut through the bullshit to make it easier for others too as well. that means i'm settling in for perma-different and hoping for rich and "eccentric" instead of poor and "crazy".


who knows?

scratch that. everybody knows.

who cares?

after explaining this to people i hope they get it. more later i'm sure. this topic energizes and exhausts me and everyone else.

the good news is we're all the same. we just need to act different than we're acting now, so it shouldn't be hard to figure out how.

dudes are toughening up too, or instead of killing me, they're chilling out and staying too busy to bother people. there's hope yet.


Doe Nation Request: Relax... Your Work Is Done

Just a quick request based on some great results. As I check out the parts of the city where I usually work, I notice some big changes. Instead of stopping stalkers every thirty seconds on Yonge Street or at the Eaton Centre for example, sometimes I now stop them only every thirty minutes. Instead of girls being hunted like animals and stressed out by a hundred strange stalker guys a day, they are mostly relaxed, bored and mischievous, or achieving the perfect flirty storm. Instead of guys being needy and creepy, they are too busy to bother people. Instead of worrying, people seem to be thinking. Instead of pissed off chicks hanging out with haunted guys, couples seem to be liking and respecting each other more and getting along better. 

Sometimes it still gets crowded, but it doesn't get creepy as often since people aren't purposely zombie-ing into strangers and randomly threatening them. You may not notice, but when I say this out loud, nearly everyone around casually acknowledges it to be true. People are more relaxed. Men and women are walking with each other instead of against each other. What is also neat is nearly everyone who casually says hello acts like it is our secret, but since it is nearly everyone in the most diverse city in the world, rich and poor, black and white, young and old, sane and crazy, the good news is it seems like we are all on the same page about this. We are all working together to get along better and it seems to be working. Nifty.

Therefore, please take a look at the request below and make it easy for me to make things easy for you. I know people have trouble talking about this, so that is why I essentially gave the last year of my life and maybe my life to dealing with it on behalf of everyone. This project has cost me everything to some degree, including my family, friends, times and money, but I can usually find ways to enjoy it and it is paying off for everybody. I am handing out flyers with the text on them below to make it easy for you to help me help you and will continue to fight for your dignity as long as you help me keep mine. If I have to give up then I will, but I would rather help create the cultural conditions that we want anyway that will help everyone relax.

As long as you help me be able to get worked up enough to create the collective social approval and disapproval for actions that is necessary for people to get along better both with people they know and people they don't, then I will put in the work and you can relax. It's been working so far or I wouldn't have continued, so please consider helping us keep it up. 




August 14, 2012 - Flyer Text- 1:

Ask Vij Consulting
Vijay Sarma
Helping you figure out…

The good news is most people are nice and want to believe in themselves and other people, relax and feel happy. When people had trouble discussing it, I stopped people from bothering each other while sharing relationship advice with a million people in Ottawa and Toronto. People felt empowered enough to act on it because they could see each other agree. Things calmed down and hundreds a day still say hello, which is why I keep going. To do this full-time I left my job talking to VPs at Fortune 500 companies and I am sharing advice with people and businesses. To continue to mix old school town crier, apple-crate and Jonah at Nineveh style efforts with new school party and business ones, I need anonymous donations from people I am helping or I will have to stop. Please deposit cash in TD Bank Account: 3058-6062898 so I can continue and visit the website for more info. Thank you for your support.


August 15, 2012 - Flyer Text - 2:

Ask Vij Consulting
Vijay Sarma
Helping you figure out…

I am a performance artist who puts out good ideas that help people get along. I would like more to become patrons of the arts and support my efforts. The good news is most people are nice and want to believe in themselves and other people, relax and feel happy. I stop lots of people from bothering each other and share relationship advice with millions in Ottawa and Toronto. People feel empowered when they can see each other agree and then relax. Hundreds a day say hello, which is why I continue. I left my job talking to VPs at Fortune 500 companies to mix old school town crier, apple-crate and Jonah at Nineveh style efforts with new school party and business ones. With no hat to throw money in, to make things easy, I need big and small anonymous donations. Please deposit cash or cheques in TD Bank Account: 3058-6062898 and visit the website or get in touch. Thank you for your support.