Saturday, April 21, 2012

It Is Nice To Meet You:


This website meant to help people understand that it is nice to meet you and it is better than not. Or taking that approach to strangers is better than not. As people are crowded in cities, many issues with how we interact are obviously happening right in front of us and should be safe topics like the weather. 

My interest? We got along and the girls got in some trouble. The guys too. Now we know more and agree and can get out. That's it. That's enough eh? 

Basically, in the summer of 2011 I started noticing many straight men starting to turn "What are you looking at?" into "Why aren't you looking at me?" and demanding my attention like hyper-aggressive girls. Many effeminately copy body language and walk forcefully close to strange guys. But they are not gay.

As Senior Vice President and General Counsel for Chick Incorporated I report directly to The Bored. Men: Don't compete. Women want to compete for us.

Then I saw men start following women for blocks, or stalking them on purpose. I spoke or yelled to get them to stop. Nearly everyone else started saying hello. So, I started explaining things in the third person to everyone, but no one in particular. Their positive reactions are how people show how they feel.


Many stalkers seem to be following girls because they want to get looked at like girls. I know because 99.999% of the time when I look at a girl instead of her stalker, he tries to flirt with me, fails, gets embarrassed and leaves. Girls can slow down, relax, stop and stare at stuff to get free within seconds too.

Case Study: Eaton Centre, Toronto, Sat, 14/Apr/12, from 2 - 7 pm, mostly silent, looking at to free girls, people seeing and saying hello, couples talking.

People have to help women stalked with good attention and tell creepy straight men to stop wasting their time bothering strangers, including walking close to people, messing with them and walking away fast and guilty. These guys are not gay, don't pick up on or respect signals and feel rejected and miserable.

Case Study: The Great Hall, Toronto, Fri, 23/Mar/12, live music, laptop-bag over butt attacked by creepy guys, protected by brave Jaeger girls, out a lot.

Take this stuff seriously on your own or with others or get in touch at 647.781.1580 or so I can help you stop people from being harassed by men falling apart and landing on them. Insecure men show they appreciate advice from confident ones and can tell each other to knock it off. 


Nervous, needy and creepy guys bother everyone, but most of all themselves. After literally yelling at, talking around, or talking to thousands of adult males being rejected everywhere, or seeing it, most accept that exchanging some respect and keeping it is better than bothering strangers. Then we can relax. 

Men shouldn't care much about the looks they get from men unless they are threatened or their time is wasted. Straight up. No creepy closeness either. 

Based on their positive response, most people agree with these publicly stated problems, reactions and solutions. People believe "It Is Nice To Meet You" and that it is better than not. Thousands have helped conduct successful social physics experiments. This even happens when I am silent for good reasons.  

Real gay guys don't act like nervous, needy, creepy and confused straight guys or they could not hang out in the same bar. Nobody likes this creepy crap. 

Men and women can figure out how to respect, appreciate and empower each other fast. Sometimes it is fun and sometimes it is polichicks, but women who don't want to hit or yell at men will often flirt with me to express their approval of these ideas. Over 8 months this was all confirmed. Relax and pass it on.


While some do, I don't find this stuff difficult to talk about and have fun with it. So, get in touch about this or for any other reason. People just need ways to deal with this stupid "dirty little secret" nonsense destroying men. I used to laugh at creepy guys. But then they started attacking girls (?) and that's crazy. 

This is one of those olde fashioned historical tests. Will the strong prey on the weak until they become weak and destroy themselves? Or reconsider?

Now, if men and women care about men and women where they live, the following should happen. Men should stop trying to act like needy, creepy, clumsy and aggressive girls. Women should respect men treating them more carefully and have fun with them. People should confidently empower each other.

When 90% of communication is non-verbal and people pass by many people daily, their interactions can be empowering, disempowering, or useless.

All it takes is men politely and briefly acknowledging others and staying confidently busy. Women can flirt knowing men will go back to business and quickly compete for his attention. Nobody should be needy or creepy with strangers. If it needs to be said, it was. If we need to know how we feel, we do. 

Please keep in mind that this information may help improve confidence and happiness where you live.

Easy, eh?



Vijay Sarma



While there are many great people to appreciate, in some ways it may be harder to communicate. This may cause socially-constipated, insecure, needy and harassing behaviour. When 90% of communication is non-verbal, being careless or malicious and screwing up may lead to low self-esteem and alienation.

Some say people can't say anything to anyone, but can say everything to everyone. A good example is blogs. People might individually have trouble hearing "Get Up, Stand Up", but at a concert might all start dancing. Few individuals can handle this information. But collectively knowing how most feel, we can.  

Organically developed performance artist techniques in reaction to real situations where women may have been in danger may have helped give people a chance to deal with men falling apart, landing on and attacking strangers. It is good to know that many people have heard and agreed with these ideas.

Incidentally, this all may sound crazy, but it has been proven over the last 8 months and on a daily basis. While I stay busy and focused thinking about, hearing, reading or saying something, nearly everyone keeps saying hello in friendly ways. People react better and worse to certain ideas. But they react.


1. Women in passing prefer polite and brief acknowledgment and physical and mental avoidance. If it goes well, they may ask for reassurance and flattery.

2. Men in passing should exchange polite and brief nods, looks or gestures to avoid being needy, or speak in clear and concise terms. Twitching is insecure.

3. Women need to feel safe to feel sexy. So, even if she seems like a badass chick, men still have to be careful and give her room to consider showing off.

4. Men who give women power feel like they have some. Or many don't. This includes physical space, slowing, speeding up, ignoring and offering attention.

5. Women who get treated deferentially by men naturally react in more feminine ways which makes men feel strong and responsible for women feeling safe.  
6. Men who get out of the way or go faster or slower can easily walk faster to get back on schedule. Or may add a minute to the end of a much better day. 

7. Women are boring and bored if men are not busy. Most are technically better at telling whether or not they look good. But, need men to see if it works.

8. Men should not focus on what they don't get to do, they should focus on what they got to do. Perhaps everyone should, but women deserve more slack.

9. Women may do just "fine" on their own. But, they would prefer it if they thought they could rely on more men to help them feel safe, happy and sexy.

10. Men need to regain confidence by talking more and taking the concerns of their women seriously among others to feel valuable while having fun too.

Keep this stuff in context so people constantly interacting with each other can do so in more empowering ways. The macro does lead to clues that can help people optimize the micro too, or their relationships with everyone who they meet and know. Nothing has changed but our options. Men and women.  


Please keep in mind that this information may help improve confidence and happiness where you live.

Easy, eh?



Vijay Sarma



If you have questions or want to discuss the issues on this website or others, please get in touch to figure out what makes sense. I can consult over the phone or in person with individuals, couples, groups and organizations. One specialty is figuring out how people can relate better so more feel empowered.

While I develop the content for executive conferences, interview people as a journalist and have family and friends, the problems I see cause spontaneous reactions and an extension of third-person alpha-male confidence revealing the "should" vs. "supposed to" say, mostly in reaction to men bothering people.

People have polite, conservative, friendly and quiet responses to the organically developed gravelly, focused, charming and mangry approach that helps me communicate ideas in cultures where people are scared to say things and non-verbally trying to get around that. The rest of the time acting normal works.

Incidentally, this spontaneous reactionary performance artist third-person alpha male character built up enough street cred by saving girls to take a more traditionally manly approach to thought, speech and action, including re-establishing the dominant male role of running the place but not into the ground.

Women appreciate the opportunity to stop competing with men and start having fun with ones they find. Men just have to make the first move and act like they don't want to scare women, which is usually away and faster or slower, depending on the situation. Women then start to relax and act more feminine. 


These ideas may work if people hear them, try them, feel them and pass them on. People can diffuse this info over large groups to make it easy to handle the answers if I am invited to give them. Many men are guilty and embarrassed over their actions and many women are scared. It is good to clarify things.

Since the core male-female roles of "gun" protecting "fun" have been publicly re-valued, everyone can relax upon implementation of them because everyone will feel what they want most. Men will feel important and women will feel valued. Then people can consistently empower each other to handle everything.

This shift in public attitude should suit most. Women get to show-off more. Men get to do nothing and enjoy it more. People are politely acknowledging each other, out of the way and busy feeling like they have something on their minds more than bothering strangers who appreciate that and say hello more.

From the movie The Tao of Steve, the saying "We want that which retreats from us" is true. Men want to say hello to a guy who won't waste their time. Women want to flirt with a man with no time to waste. People respect what you work on. if it's a man, it's your business. If it's a woman, it's your beauty.

While this may sound sexist to some, it's actually sexy to most. While both genders are smart and can live independently, women appreciate a busy and successful man; men appreciate a charming and beautiful woman. Outside of what we both do the same, like work, this is often how we value each other.


The basics are here, but there is more. While individuals may vary, if the collective will ensures a good environment, then people can always be and meet more individuals. Couples may also want to arrange for a moderated conversation about their relationship to help them re-value each other and feel better.

Individuals can also use social physics principles to achieve their goals of being as happy and productive as possible. You can get along with more people to build your local social safety net. if they want, people can also learn ways to stay relaxed most of the time and be ready for whatever when they need to be.

People can get in touch for any reason, or use and share these ideas on their own. The goal is for more to feel empowered and happy and keep it up. While things may never be perfect, they can get better or worse depending on what we decide to do when we know how we feel and it is simple, easy and fun.

When something is easy to understand, simple, easy and fun and can help people become perpetual people-empowering machines... why not try it?

Easy, eh?



Vijay Sarma