Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Welcome to Join Friends for Laffs at Spirits Comedy Night in Toronto, Weds, Apr 3rd, 8 pm

Spirit's Comedy Nite with Jo-Anna Downey


Wednesdays have been the night for comedy on Church Street since 1994 and Jo-Anna Downey has been the “Mama” since 1996, making Spirits Open Mic Night an institution (in a good way). Countless comics have felt right at home at Spirits and will occasionally drop by, like that time Robin Williams crashed Jo-Anna's 40th birthday. Other stars of Open-Mic night have included the "King of Queen's" Patten Oswald, Sean Cullen, Mitch Hedberg and Kevin Hearn of the Barenaked Ladies.

For booking information, bookwithjoanna@gmail.com

9pm - Close
(No Cover)


Man About Town Too


It's Nice to Meet You

Which is Better Than Not

Men: Man-UP. Chicks: Chill-OUT. 

What You Want to Believe In Dot Com



People are people and generally speaking most want to make a little love, make a little money and make a few mistakes and to be healthy, wealthy and happy with who they are, who they know, who they meet and where they live. Today, weaker communication skills are leading to less respect, courtesy, chivalry and more as many interactions and relationships with family, friends and strangers become more stressful.

We shouldn't ignore this when we can all relax and have fun fixing it and I've spent the last 21 months publicly proving how to get it done today.

My name is Vijay Sarma and I'm a Man About Town and self-help guru. I flirt with hundreds of women a day who usually get my attention like in a beer-commercial, plus interact with and help them in various ways wherever they are when they get my attention. I also acknowledge hundreds of men a day who get my attention in various ways. Why? Because I also often say appropriate things to clarify confusing or awkward interactions.

This includes daily instances of people bothering me or others with or for unwanted attention without admitting or saying anything when asked.

To do this, I often employ a third-person alpha male persona and deeper voice to provide certainty with no need for a response. This helps quiet people who are having trouble communicating relax instead of worrying about what things might mean. This is also great for flirting with women because, unlike a text message, women can better tell how I "feel" about what I am saying as long as I say it with some bass and then relax.

While I have tried over and over again to stop using it, it has taken on a life of its own and these days people often want or expect it to help them.

As a polite and busy man who acknowledges people nearby just to let them know I won't bother them, everyone says hello because it's safe to and it's good to have a man on your side. It's nice to meet you. Starting in the summer of 2011, I started getting strange unexplained requests for extra attention from men; responded when ignoring people didn't work; and now know how to clear up many large and small relationship issues.

People should never let a good crisis go to waste when they can often bind us together. Based on many reactions of people so far: this one can.

As a self-made man who had the good fortune millions of people helping make me while interacting with them and sharing ideas, I'm sharing what I learned about people with people. What you want to believe in is people and their abilities to help you relax and feel happy. I know this for a fact because I went on and on and on about it in front of a million people in Ottawa and two million in Toronto who often appreciated it and said hello.

So, after 21 months of walking and talking informally with Canadians who appreciated the advice, I'm now formally saying hello to discuss things.

I'm meeting with individuals, couples and groups of men and women, preferably separately, to provide options to help improve 99% of non-verbal and verbal interactions with everybody who we interact with, including strangers and people we know. Based on the positive responses it seems I often spontaneously provide people with better advice than they often get; or I wouldn't say anything and wouldn't have to so people can relax.

Please keep in mind that I don't have all the answers, but I have many and can give people customized options to think about and choose from.

Discussions can be held in person, over the phone or online, though I'd prefer to use my voice to convey meanings and feelings and to help clarify things. Because people have trouble communicating about how they're having trouble communicating, these discussions should be in private to ensure people can speak freely. When the same people who say hello can talk to me about why: they'll be free of all this unspoken nonsense.

This is more important than ever as more people squished together in cities can get proven options to consistently interact in empowering ways.

While anyone get in touch to discuss options, I find people often wonder "What will people think?" or say or do when something is controversial. To take care of this, I found out by interacting with millions and showing people their reactions to each other and what I'm saying. Like a concert, people often like to see each other agree and enjoy before they decide to. Therefore, big groups would be ideal to collectivize happy responses.

Read on and see what you want to believe in, including your ability to deal with things that others might not be able to that need to be dealt with.

What's Your Story?

Since July 1st, 2011 on Canada Day in Ottawa I've been seriously interested in these issues. Before that, I'd seen more men harassing men to keep looking at them as they got more feminized and later started copying more female body language; or men zombieing too close to men; or angrily or jealously stalking women. However, for one day I saw nearly 500,000 Canadians feeling great and getting along fine outside Parliament.

This same phenomenon can be seen wherever people feel a collective responsibility and vibe like at a concert and it should be normal in public.

To influence this, I've been saving thousands of women and children from stalkers mainly in Ottawa and Toronto just because I see it happening everywhere every day and think it sucks and they get my attention; pull over and escape; or I intervene. I used to talk to or near guys until they left girls alone because I didn't think a strange man silently bothering them was any of the girls' business and still don't and they think it's fine.

Frankly, I think if I walked around saving animals from getting beaten I'd be on the news by now. Otherwise those fine folks just say hello too.

The way I look at this situation is this is just some good old fashioned street sh-t for any man or men to handle. Or, do women and children in particular and even men feel safe and happy in my City. The answer was and is clearly no. So, the question becomes what if anything should anyone do if they can, especially when nobody else is doing anything about all the resulting anti-social behaviour. Who knows? Who cares?

Perhaps the only way to find out is to do something to see if you can find out. That seemed reasonable and apparently... it turns out it was.

What's the Problem?

After a while many women knew me, so I just kept an eye on them and was initially surprised to see their male stalkers acting like girls, losing and leaving like less-attractive girls who stalk more attractive ones. This body language may be related to what I call "The Not Itchy But Scratchy Show" as people having trouble talking allegorically and nervously scratch, wipe, pick, cough, pose and more while making each other paranoid.

While I think it's gross, annoying and crazy; I also don't like it because I see men and women stalking others while doing this starving for looks.

That's because this behavior is neither gay, nor straight, nor spoken of. People are becoming monkeys learning sign language to compensate for not feeling able to say what they mean and alluding to things in needy, creepy, distracting and unsatisfying ways that leave them more beggardly, bothersome. stressed and depressed. I walk around and show how many perfectly normal people are also acting like attention-craving zombies.

There are great conversations to be had about how most interactions can be improved to ensure people get and not take the most out of people.

Right now, people are destroying each other with nervous, needy, creepy, gross and harassing nonsense. Men harassing each other obviously don't want to look at each other much or affectionately or they wouldn't attack each other and lose the respect of other men and women they harass who fall apart as well. People shouldn't try to quickly trick anyone into looking at them do something stupid that they won't even admit.

Some people may want to continue picking, scratching, sketching and posing to get attention. But don't want to give it to each other. So stop it.

What's Her Problem?

This probably originated with cute female body language used to allude to feelings without saying what they mean. Somehow men started using it the same way; sometimes with women. When they wouldn't look at or treat each other like girls much, they sped everything up and destroyed their egos by trying to force or trick each other and by following, standing near or silently attacking any women nearby while acting like them.

After being attacked by and now copying it, this gender-neutral picky-scratchy crap is making women intolerably sketchy and hard to look at too.

Fortunately, many women have pride in their femininity and see each other interact with me and how nervous, pushy, gross, clumsy and annoying many are after nearly two years of jealous, aggressive and silent zombie-like harassment by their men. If 25% of men are man-girl stalkers, they'll just annoy most men who've played sports, can move and have a natural deterrent. But: they'll destroy 100% of women if they attack all of them.

This is what I see happening as of this writing in March 2013 as someone who interacts with women every few seconds. They're a nervous mess.

While they're not perfect, except for often looking that way, this mess is not their fault. They are having trouble flirting and trading vulnerability for power because if they act vulnerable and get attention, or if they even relax and walk gracefully like women, they'll often be attacked by men who want the attention they might get and increasingly other women too. So: they're switching to distracting and annoying scratching to compensate.

Men have to work together to relax, police each others behavior, help women relax, restore and preserve their femininity and raise children right.

What's the Reaction?

Women are tough enough to take a lot, but with men silent too, all they do about this is flirt with me, their defacto lawyer and bodyguard, which gives him enough street-cred to deal with everything else. Which is fine. I never ask them for anything and just tell them to relax. They often keep me in a good mood and I take care of the rest. Hey, I'm not in Afghanistan. I'm just hanging out in Canada trying to get "nice" people to act like it.

Stop thinking nervous, needy, tricky, sketchy, half-ass, begging, bothersome and pathetic attempts to ironically get positive attention will work.

Today, because people aren't saying as much and are sensitive and scared to offend others, they are often bored by what they are saying and paying attention to conversations at other tables, trying to get stared at, non-verbally signaling others and so on. In this environment, it was easy for me to influence large groups of quiet people in Ottawa and Toronto to at least hear and get what I'm saying to some degree. That's a start.

Should people think this is important, they can make changes or just get in touch with me to schedule formal discussions since I'm an expert.

What's the Solution?

While quiet, needy, fearful and yet happy Canadians seem to have trouble discussing this: I think they're ready. I thought it'd take just a month to show people options using real people to have many use them. However, more people just keep saying hello based on what I say, do, learn and accomplish as a confident, polite, brief, busy and effective guy who's out of the way and on my away who helps keep and not disturb the peace.

That's how it all started. Chicks liked my style and got in some crap. So, a man helped them out, got to know them, and spoke to and for them.

Men also liked to watch and listen so things worked. An average height, weight and build guy was big enough to man-up and learned a lot about what people want but don't say after sharing ideas and getting real-time reactions. Based on my experiences I know most cultures are on side and anyone worldwide can set up private and informal discussions about these issues in person, over the phone and online to consider options.

What you want to believe in is making sure it's nice to meet people and in finding better ways to communicate to empower people for the future.

What's the Plan Man?

The goal is to win the battle of the sexes so we can all relax. Then maybe work at a Starbucks. I love their coffee and the people seem to be in a good mood. Regardless, people knew this other stuff was important, so I was allowed by people in charge of security and others to save women from stalkers silently and verbally; growl at people to stop them from bothering me or others; provide explanations as part of reactions and more.

While it may sound incredible, all men have to do is keep an eye on the girls while they're being bothered and stalkers usually leave them alone.

The key has been the incredible power of women to make the world beautiful which can be a huge source of energy and inspiration for everyone. Women's intuition, intelligence, creativity and wit have been on display for 21 months as they flirt to fight in many mysterious ways with me in public. They also screw around all the time and constantly gossip about each other. Which is fine. It just has to be managed more carefully.

The plan is for men and boys to use women and children as an organizing principle to feel responsible and worthwhile and get their minds right.

Since people didn't want to think, say or do much about this, I took care of that. My plan for the girls was to get 'em all and give 'em back before their men break them. The first part is done and I can walk anywhere in Toronto and interact with any women and others successfully in silent or verbal ways. The first part was walking: which is more important to the girls. The second part is talking: which is more important to the boys.

While it may sound incredible, I have literally said this in front of hundreds of thousands of people who seem to be happy there's a plan at all.

What's the Other Plan Man?

Another goal is to run for Mayor of Toronto in 2014 or perhaps sooner if possible. After reporting on G20 Martial Law and then leaving my radio show to avoid a conflict of interest, I ran for Mayor by myself in 2010 for a couple of months, came in 9th ahead of Sarah Thompson (who in fairness had dropped out earlier) and received 2264 votes. Since people don't want to get "political", hey, I figure they can at least get "social".

Once people get better habits to put each other in a better mood, I believe they'll be able to handle most of their big and small problems easier.

Plus, since people had trouble talking about these issues, women have used their considerable assets to keep me in a good mood instead of control my mind and now I almost control the whole City, at least one some level. So, I want to give it to them to play with and have a bunch of men help manage it carefully and enjoy what they do. I know they're smart and capable and all that; but I also know they want to relax a lot.

So: there you have it. I'm a man. The most powerful creature on earth. As long as someone puts me in a good mood there's nothing I can't do.

What Can You Do?

I'm typically scared of scaring women and politely ignore them. Women often get pretty confident and spitefully hot after that. The good news is competing with men acting like them re-awakened their competitive fires. The bad news is men are big enough to intimidate them badly and their egos and skills are taking a beating. Men and women should relax and enjoy walking with and not against each other and talk more about how.

I've been a public speaker, debater, singer and rapper and worked in sales talking to everyone from the homeless to Fortune 500 VPs and others.

Now I'm going back to my Hindu and Vishwamitra Brahmin roots as a man who's spent 10 years learning about the world and acting on it which helped prepare him to deal with our recent issues. My ancestors would visit farmers and fix problems they didn't have time to think about for a meal and a place to stay. I'm a modern self-help guru for individuals, couples and groups of men and women preferably separately. It's up to you.

Just get in touch to finally go over what's on your mind, get rid of your stress and problems and leave friendly with better meanings and feelings.

What Can Inspire You?

You can also listen to Coldplay's "Mylo Xyloto" album with the goal of "Paradise" where men and women can relax and feel safe and sexy in consistently empowering instead of disempowering ways while crowded into cities as one good way among many to understand the plan. The math works and I've shown people what's possible, explained it and more. This includes 10 - 15 hours a day in March 2013 so we're good to go.

That's all. Just a man working on a problem that people couldn't discuss who checked with their favorite artists and then discussed it with them.

People can also show through their words and deeds that these issues are important. Since most interactions are non-verbal, if done well then many can be used to help fix these issues and cut down on stress. Perhaps we need to review the new normal and get more satisfying habits. Perhaps men should use looking out for suddenly happier women and children as an organizing principle. Perhaps that way things will be fine.

Please use the following contact info to get in touch to discuss these opportunities, or for any other reason, plus see the website for more.

Warm regards,




Helping you figure out...




If you would like to quietly or anonymously donate to these efforts, please deposit money into the bank account below and I will use it well.

The way I figure, if a bunch of people in the City of Toronto give me what they spend on a pair of shoes (eg.) I will help them walk and talk.

All you need to do is use the name and bank account number below and if this is easier for people than formally addressing it that's fine.

Name: Vijay Sarma

TD Bank Account Number: 3058-6062898

Please also feel free to get in touch to discuss other options, including helping to promote different ideas to help people relax and have fun.

This includes media for interviews, artists, advertisers, psychologists, sociologists, other professionals and anyone else with any ideas at all.

Otherwise my other plan is for quiet people to fight through fashion by selling t-shirts; then music and stand up comedy. If I continue. We'll see.