VLOGcrates: 5 Million Down and Soon to Be Up With The Birds, 6 Billion to Go... Or So?
FYI, just a head's up, while I've been struggling with what to do for a month or two about all the attention I receive everywhere I go and keep wanting to give up and do anything except work on what I'm working on to avoid getting closer to everyone and further away from anyone, I also know that it's the new currency and everyone craves it in our splintered culture where we're worse at giving and getting it, so maybe I'm lucky.
Plus, I'm inspired by people whenever I'm out in public and only really feel like giving up when I'm alone, so I figure I might as well roll with it and try to talk to all the people who seem to want to talk to me, or want to communicate something in some way anyway. I'll just turn all that darned twitchin' into talkin' goldarnit.
Sometimes it feels like sour grapes, or like I'm determined to get something for what I've done which doesn't seem to work regardless of whether I feel I deserve it or not because I'm trapped between people who think they're fine and better than me or doing badly and worse off than me, so there's no winning for me there.
I'm happier than I might seem, but it's a series of highs and lows and it's based on the brand I've built which can be incredibly rewarding on some levels and utterly crushing on others, especially as someone who likes to talk to people but who finds people would rather allegorically twitch at me instead. Hey, stuff happens.
At other times it feels like I need to work on this because if I don't and nobody else does then we'll be trapped in the "Not Itchy But Scratchy Show" or turn into monkeys learning sign language at the expense of our validating body language and to compensate for communication problems that may only get worse.
Perhaps I'm wrong and I hope so, but that doesn't seem to be the case based on what I've accomplished so far with most regular guys no longer acting like and stalking girls and what I can do any time and anywhere with anybody there, or change our behaviour for the better with people more relaxed, friendly and fun.
That's one reason I've started vlogging, or video blogging, to help people get to know me and my face and my voice and what I think to some degree. This may help make it easier to trust speaking with me and is more fun than writing stuff and one way that I'm trying to have more fun with this and in general:
What You Want To Believe In... Is People
Ways to Respect and Flirt with Men, Boys, Women and Girls
At this point it is what it is and there are times when I feel great to be in a position to influence 5 million multicultural people, which in turn means the same ideas might be able to influence 6 billion or so to empower each other, give or take a billion just in case. At that point they'll probably go along to get along anyway.
Perhaps this sounds grandiose. In fact, there's no perhaps about it. That's just crazy talk.
However, wherever I go in the Greater Toronto Area, hundreds of people a day still quietly say hello to me in increasingly stranger ways, at least according to me since this has been happening for a while.
Many of them seem to be expressions of support combined with a frustration with the status quo, so there's probably something to work with there that I can help fix. Or, to quote a widely beloved ad campaign by Apple Computers and creator TWBA/Chiat/Day about their founder Steve Jobs and others:
"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
- Apple Inc.
So, I think it can happen. If I told anyone that everywhere I go in a city of 5 million that most people would recognize and acknowledge me everywhere I go they might think I was crazy.
However, it happened. Twice. If you count it happening in Ottawa with a million people too.
Of course, if the only feedback I get is plausibly deniable and allegorical from people that don't want to do anything else and who often seem shocked when I choose to address them formally, I might change my mind and simply give up since it's hard to be informally motivated to continue myself, especially since people are getting worse at it.
But, it's happened and can happen again. Plus, I can't feel that mad at all the people having trouble for not supporting me more when I focus on them instead of the trouble I'm having with their trouble, in which case I can get plenty sad and mad and weak and slack.
It can be a long and lonely road that I'm travelling with legions of people struggling to do anything but silently express how they're struggling with what they're dealing with and turning into and communicating with me and as a result are often scared to do anything at all.
This is also why I've been far more conservative and isolated when it comes to my formal relationships than I want to be: I don't want to make anyone else uncomfortable with what I'm working on by being afraid I'll bring it up, so I don't and don't worry others about it.
Still, as long as we have a chance to get past this then I might as well help regardless of the cost, plus instead of thinking about what I could be doing instead if I could, all I have to do is think of people who have it worse or harder than me to right my own ship anyway.
The old saying "Physician heal thyself!" keeps clanging around my thick skull too, so I guess I'd better.
People will often politely say they're doing "Great!" to avoid making anyone else feel uncomfortable with a potential discussion of their problems, but when it comes to me, for better or worse I get to see endless waves and waves of confusion and frustration over lost opportunity and potential to feel fulfilled and happy and more that's not clearly defined, like a beautiful young black girl at Yorkdale Mall on Monday who seemed stunned to realize that she could be complemented by men and boys and perhaps even women and girls in friendly ways on a regular basis instead of feeling threatened or lonely. Or at least that's what it looked like and that's what I alluded to with what I briefly said to her in ways she didn't have to formally respond to.
When I see nearly everyone, and especially the amount of little girls and others who see and/or hear me and seem to want me to fix how we relate to each other, or help other men relate to them and others more like I do in protective, friendly and comforting ways, which I'll sometimes say to their parents to clarify why we're exchanging comfortable attention, it inspires me to try to continue. I can try to escape all this and forget about it for a while, but once I leave my house, then it's on again with everyone who sees me as soon as they do.
For example, I'll interject with a real-time example:
At 9:57 pm on Monday, August 8, 2013, at a Second Cup coffee shop near Lawrence and Bathurst, I just handed my "It's Nice To Meet You" with WhatYouWantToBelieveIn.com on it business card to a man with his wife and his 8 year old daughter who started singing and dancing near and in front of me to the music playing while I complemented her and joked with them from afar. After she stopped and sat down, I just walked over to him and said "Hi, how are you doing, it's nice to meet you. I've been working on how men and women can relate to each other better and the girls especially recognize this, so here's my card and my website, check it out if you'd like." He said thanks and later after I sat back down in my chair a ways away I said "It's cool man, nothing makes them happier than making us happy. Now, you can't say that to all of them, but then again, you sort of can." It's true and the women and girls sheepish body language and reactions around me sort-of confirmed it, though perhaps I should have creatively added a vice versa as well, though I still maintain it's a generally a different sort of appreciation that's readily available to most of us barring the especially wealthy, smooth, pretty or witty, or more protective than fun and creative, plus men and boys feel sort of guilty, sympathetic and motivated when I frame things this way which can help.
Men and boys still have to be cool of course, but we all know that women and girls love to be admired and appreciated for being fun and special which is something that we can all work to make happen. This type of attention from women and girls especially of nearly all ages happens everywhere I go, so now I'm taking this "Here's my card" approach more often to get to meeting more people. Sometimes people say "No thanks" even after they persisted in trying to get my attention which prompted my actions, but I respond "No problem" because based on the current paradigm we're operating in there shouldn't be.
While I certainly appreciate all of the casual interest and hope to use it well, to this day I still find it too disturbing to see the few men left who do still acting like girls unless they relax and take it seriously for any aesthetic or entertainment value, or anyone quickly spazzing out instead of relaxing and exchanging confident looks or talking to communicate with me, or simply because they're bored or frustated, or quickly wiping, scratching, picking, coughing, sneezing, running at or near me and more. I just find it confusing, annoying and jarring and think most others do too based on how most realize they have an opportunity to stop and do when I formally confront this behaviour with my objections to it in public.
Women and girls in particular finally go back to wanting to relax when they get attention and start to emote in their former and nearly universal subtle, graceful and appreciable ways instead of speeding up, spazzing out, crowding and threatening me, which is more relaxed, relaxing, respectful and enjoyable for both of us as long as I try to make it happen.
While I can take lots of time off and have recently, as soon as I come back and decide to do it, I can easily restore our masculine and feminine behaviour wherever I go which people always seem to appreciate, or get back what they've been losing and missing for a while with nearly every interaction nearly every day.
So, I'm drawing a line in the sand and saying that anyone over the age of 25 should stop just sheepishly spazzing and help me help everyone if they want me to do something about our communication, identity, relationship and interaction issues for the future of us and our children who want it done. If people want to.
This means getting in touch or supporting me financially in various ways that I can help make happen as well. There seems to be a lag-time with all new information including what I say, so I assume it's possible soon.
Perhaps it's my fault that I haven't done a better job in all facets of what I've been trying to do, but that doesn't help us deal with it, so we should consider moving past that fact and look for a better conclusion
Otherwise I simply can't stop our social constipation and what I see as the resulting and developing social framework for the oft-foretold zombie apocalypse, which isn't so funny when we can clearly see people zombieing around and stressing each other out more and more. When I choose to reference it people aren't laughing anyway, they're observing and recoiling on horror at the apparent accuracy of the interpretation.
As it stands I can still only stop it temporarily wherever I go and give us updates on how we appear to be getting closer to it based on our severely deteriorating male and female complementary body language and continue to suggest that we take it seriously. Or ignore that interpretation and take some alternate positive reinforcement seriously. Or whatever the heck whomever can handle. Just as long as they can handle it.
This is why I want people to get in touch instead of just laying everything out in formal and verbose ways and cancelling different audiences out as everyone rejects the raw truth, or the raw fact-based speculation anyway. The ways that I'd speak privately with a group of teenage girls to give them good advice are far different from the ways that I'd speak with a group of middle-aged men, or at least I hope they can be and hope we can accept and work with that.
I'm not sure how long we have to arrest this behaviour or if we can even do it, but I'm sure it's worth a try and I'd like to help as that guy. I already know that everyone informally accepts just about everything and can think about it well enough to change their behaviour temporarily, but when it comes to most people formally addressing the details, I also know nobody accepts anything yet, which sucks for me and everyone else so far. But again, that may change.
People can do whatever they want, but with my advice they usually change what they're doing, so I assume they're not doing what they want to now and could use my advice. I'm stuck in a waiting game with everyone else, but I know that there's probably a tipping point where people will want to validate my efforts for their ends as long as I put forth the effort, so that's what I'm planning on doing in August, or giving it one more one last chance. Again. For what it's worth.
If it doesn't work and I'm isolated and don't get the support I need to continue, then to quote Coldplay:
"Might have to go where they don't know my name
Float all over the world just to see her again
But I won't show or feel any pain
Even though all my armour might rust in the rain
A simple plot, but I know one day
Good things are coming our way
A simple plot, but I know one day
Good things are coming our way
- Coldplay, "Up With The Birds" (Mylo Xyloto)
Perhaps this is a broken record, but it's the only one I've got since I'm in a stalemate with millions of people and reality and our inability to discuss what we all know, namely that we're having trouble communicating verbally and non-verbally and it's threatening our confidence, identities, masculinity and femininity and more as we lose our abilities to empower each other as often as we should be able to.
Regardless, I'm still a smart man who can help fix this by consulting on communications, identity and relationship issues, business and creative projects and more, so that's what I'm going to do with whoever wants me to.
Please see the website for details and feel free to get in touch.
Coldplay - Up With The Birds [Lyrics On Screen]