Saturday, January 12, 2008

Happy Crazy 8's Throwback Blog: Sunday, January 02, 2005, Be Cool, Have Balls.

New World Order


Sunday, January 02, 2005

The Secret To Life? Be Cool, Have Balls.

Happy New Beerz! :)

And... (urrp!), it's over.

But, what better way to start the year than learning The Secret To Life?

Yeah that's right, fuck Oprah, Chopra, and Phil, 'cause I got it right here:

Be Cool, Have Balls.

(Ladies, "Be Cool, Have Eggs" works as well, and for those offended by a word they would use freely around children until it refers to testicles, "Be Cool, Have Guts" is an acceptable phat-free substitute, and one that doesn't cause Olestra-esque anal-leakage. There, now they're not offended.)

Don't believe me? Okay... we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.

Or both. Yeah, why not both? Better safe than sorry.

The Easy Way - Try it.

For example:

If you lose a car, Be Cool, Have Balls. If you win a car, Be Cool, Have Balls.
If you lose a leg, Be Cool, Have Balls. If you win a leg, Be Cool, Have Balls.
If you lose a job, Be Cool, Have Balls. If you win a job, Be Cool, Have Balls.

There, a simple and universal algorithm for solving all of life's problems, and an easy one - an attitude that precipitates action. Beyond "win" or "lose", just plug in anything you can think of that could possibly happen, anything you need to react to either physically or mentally, and tell me this regular gut-check doesn't improve it more than any other. Write it down, tell your friends, tell your family, tell your folks... you're welcome.

(NOTE: I'm not saying I do this all the time, I'm saying I know I should.)

The Hard Way - More Examples and Analysis.

1) Everything Is A Function Of Time

"People think life is short. No it's not, life is loooong..." - Chris Rock, Bring The Pain

Feeling "sad" or "bad" or "shook" or "shaken" is not a natural state. So: Stop It! It only makes things worse, as the longer you stay that way the more screwed up you'll be, and really, unless you're in immediate pain or suffering a terrible tragedy, you can usually snap out of it. For instance, if you give up on your New Year's Resolution to add an "s" to "ab", and skip the gym for a couple of weeks, to avoid the downward spiral into Haagendaas Hell that'll set you back twice as far, Be Cool, Have Balls, and resolve that nothing that's in your control will make you feel bad. Just figure out when you think you can make it, and don't sweat-it until you plan to sweat. Once you've settled on something, there's no point in worrying about it unless it's to constructively change your mind.

Be Cool, Have Balls can also be used as an emotional-gyroscope, a stabilizer until you get your head straight. I know some off-balance on-their-heels defeatists, people who constantly play "defence" in their game of life, finding dubiously insurmountable obstacles easier than potentially easy solutions, and feeling so stressed and shitty all the time that they need to turn their brain off whenever not doing anything they absolutely have to. They don't have as much fun as those playing "offence", or seeking fun or challenging stimulation instead of a numbing effect from their leisure time. There's obviously a time and place for both, and chacun son gout (or, to each their own goo), but one has to be careful about turning their brain off every time they aren't getting paid for it, as that can result in having a brain only good for one thing. (What if you lose your job? Or worse, hate your job and can never leave?) Plus, in theory, feeling powerless and paranoid about your pathetic state or imminent bout of compensatory self-destruction will only make it worse.

Hmph. Makes sense to me anyway...

I also have a couple of friends who react to what they perceive as racist and fake "half-smiles" by scowling, and "screwfaces" (scowls) by giving them a big ol' piss-em-off-even-more smile. In some cases it's warranted, but they also mentioned interactions that often take scant seconds, like walking by someone on the street. I told them point-blank that's a mistake, as beyond the fact that you have no idea why someone is giving you a half-smile (shyness?) and it's tough to interpret one that quickly, why should you let even people who don't like you get you shook so easily, unless it's on your terms? Screw that, I'll fight when I really have to or really want to, but if I'm throwing out a good-vibe and it isn't returned by someone, I try to Be Cool, Have Balls, and keep my vibe where I like it: gooood...

"I'll, always be laughing, like a clown..." - Bob Marley, Concrete Jungle

2) Everyone Plays By The Same Rules

If someone talks shit about you, you're understandably upset. But what about celebrities? The famed fishbowl of fame can crush weak individuals, but a quick look back at Y2K4GMM04*&%#@ - or whatever the kids call it these days, can reveal some high-profile celebs who stared back into the abyss and didn't flinch.

Good Balls:

Angeline Jolie - In wanting to focus on her kid instead of date-for-marriage, mentioned she had casually "taken a lover", and the press went crazy. For a minute. But then she said: "What?", and they said, "Hey yeah... you know, you're right. Oh, and by the way, I give a great foot-massage..."

Colin Farrel - "Q: Mr. Farrell, I heard you got injured on the set of Alexander?" "A: Yeah, I got drunk and fell down. Remember kids: doing movies is easy, heavy drinking is hard. And: stay in school!" (Or something like that.)

Paris Nicole Anna Hilton Smith - Oh c'mon. Write your own damn jokes. Just make sure they're "hot."

Bad Balls:

Janet and Justin - Turtled in the face of Titty-Gate, and (for them) disappeared. C'mon guys... drink some whiskey, then eat the bottle, and then say in your best Chris-Rock: "A titty???!!!" You can still apologize, but you can also say that while it was a mistake, we all need to chill out over a square-inch of "40-year old titty!" (CR), and laugh until they laugh with you.

John Kerry - In his concession speech: "We talked about the division in our country and the need, desperate need, for unity. ...Today, I hope we can begin the healing." (4/Nov/04) When your opponents laugh at you, your supporters yell at you, and most people don't care and just think you're a pussy, well... you've made a mistake.

Huge Ugly Balls:

Condoleeza Rice - In testifying sequence: "I believe the [August 6, 2001 - PDB] title was, "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States." Then: "It did not warn of attacks inside the United States." (8/Apr/04) Good God. She may hatch a Brontosaurus. (btw, they're now called Apatosaurus, and knowing is not half the battle...)

George W. Bush - "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." (5/Aug/04) They'll probably give him a place on Mount Rushmore, and if so, they should just sandblast the heads of Lincoln and Roosevelt until they are perfectly round, and leave 'em under a massive Texas-shaped belt-buckle...


Have a Cool'n'Ballsy 2005! :-)



Peace, (NOW!!!)



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No Escape from War and Unemployment

Paul Craig Roberts
Information Clearing House
January 10, 2008

New Hampshire voters have chosen warmonger clones of Bush/Cheney for their party’s presidential candidates. The only candidates not in Israel’s pocket are Kucinich, Paul, and Gravel, who have no chance for their party’s nomination.

Obama, who provided some hope for change, undercut his support on the eve of the New Hampshire primary by declaring that he would invade Pakistan in order to protect America. It is a mystery why Obama thought this message would motivate those inclined to support his candidacy.

This means change is unlikely. Neocon think tanks, media, evangelical preachers, President Bush, Vice President Cheney, and many other members of the government have succeeded in turning a majority of Americans into scared Islamophobes and in denying Americans any reliable information about the cause of the conflict.

Unfolding economic events during 2008 are likely to increase fear among the US population–the fear that comes from recession and indebtedness.

As the German National Socialists said, a fearful population welcomes a savior. The Bush Regime has put into place all the necessary pieces for rule by the executive.

The Greenspan Fed created money and low interest rates to hide the effect on the US economy of job loss from offshoring. The low prices, achieved by substituting low-cost Asian labor for American labor, masked the inflationary impact of the Fed’s monetary policy.

The low interest rates created artificial increases in home prices by reducing the carrying costs of mortgages. Most people buy according to monthly payment, not purchase price of the home.

Many homeowners refinanced to capture and spend the rise in home equity produced by the low interest rates. This spending and the construction boom misled people about the strength of the economy.

So did US productivity and GDP statistics. As Susan Houseman has shown, US statistics have not been adjusted for offshoring and include in US productivity and GDP growth both the lower labor costs and the real output of offshored goods that are in fact part of Asian GDP.

Performance-driven executives at financial institutions were suckered into purchasing subprime derivatives, which have crashed, leaving the financial system with serious problems.

Bailouts require yet more liquidity, but the exchange value of the US dollar has been reeling from US budget and trade deficits. Creating more dollars makes holding existing dollar assets even less attractive to the foreigners who finance US deficits.

The dollar has retained its reserve currency role despite its loss of value, because there is no clear alternative. The euro is a currency without a country, and might be adversely affected by differential interest rates arising within the EU membership. The UK economy is comparatively small and faces similar problems to the US. The rising Asian economies are not ready to assume the role.

As I have documented repeatedly, job growth in the US has been confined to domestic nontradeable services. The US is now far more dependent on imported manufactured goods than it is on imported energy. Offshoring makes it impossible for the US to balance its trade as offshoring turns US GDP into imports.

Offshoring is now reaching beyond manufacturing into high-end service jobs. Princeton University economist Alan Blinder, a former vice chairman of the Federal Reserve, estimates that there are as many as 30 million US service jobs filled by college graduates that are susceptible to offshoring.

As long as China continues its currency peg to the dollar, lower prices from a continuation of offshoring can hide the new round of Fed money creation. But can a new round of money creation create enough new consumer spending by over-indebted consumers to mask the jobs lost to offshoring with more employment for waitresses and bartenders, or will the new liquidity be used up in saving the troubled financial institutions? Access to more credit does not help people who are maxed out and cannot pay their bills, especially when they are losing their jobs.

Studies by economists with the Economics Policy Institute report that as of 2006, the most recent data, the typical American family’s income remained $1,000 below its peak in 2000. Six years of “economic recovery” were unable to put the real median family income back to its previous peak. The combination of massive indebtedness, offshoring job loss, and recession is likely to produce further decline in US living standards.

Last month (December 2007) the Congressional Budget Office released its report on household incomes. The CBO data show that 80% of Americans have experienced a falling share of US income, and that the top 1% of the income distribution has received almost the entire income gain of the top 20% of Americans. Keep in mind that some of this measured income gain is in reality phantom income according to the research of Susan Houseman.

An economy that concentrates its income gains at the very top while wiping out high value-added jobs by sending them abroad, thus dismantling the ladders of upward mobility, is an economy headed for serious troubles even without subprime derivative and currency problems.

All of the presidential candidates currently in the running have authoritarian personalities. America’s next president is likely to seize upon rising domestic economic hardship and growing resistance abroad to US hegemony to complete the dismantling of America’s constitutional system.


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