Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day! This Year, Get Her A Nice Place To Walk and Nice People To Walk With!





Mission Impossible For (?): Ghost Protocol

“Don’t ever leave me, say you’ll always be there, all I ever wanted, was for you, to know that I care.” – Rocket Queen

Relax, “Mission Impossible For (?): Ghost Protocol” was completed over two years with about a million people in Ottawa and about two million in Toronto. Hundreds a day say friendly hellos and if we use this fact we’ll master the singularity.

This was an organic reaction to people knowing, but not talking, about how straight men now silently copy female body language, want men to stare at, instead of look at them, don’t get enough action, act sheepish, tricky and aggressive, jealously harass, crowd and stalk women to steal real-girl looks, fail, don’t admit it, then act normal again. Women hate this, feel less safe and feminine, copy fast and pushy zombie-girl moves and lose it. Children feel confused. People feel unfulfilled by bored, nervous, gross and lazy wiping and scratching to talk. We need higher standards to relax and enjoy.

Many men silently bug me like pushy girls. If I say “What do you want?” they get scared and leave. It’s sad and funny and I wish them better. I’m fine, but when I saw women stalked become a silent epidemic, I started to get loud in Ottawa on Canada Day 2011 and think we can fix this to win the Battle of the Sexes by Canada Day 2013. To prove what’s possible, I was average height, weight, build and looking. Without “300” men to help, nobody saying anything and me never knowing what’ll happen, I used a third person alpha male persona with a deeper voice, aka “Ghost Protocol”, to speak to quiet, observant and connected people in ways they get but don’t need to respond to, clear up awkward interactions, calm, counsel, flirt with and save countless women from stalkers, trade allegorical stimuli, feel respected and casually walk, talk, joke, rap and sing everywhere to “get” the girls and learn how to give them back to their men. Fun and done.

My name is Vijay Sarma and I’m 39 going on 29 on April 28th. You may think I should be done with this silly stuff and move on. Or just anonymously donate cash at a TD Canada Bank and I’ll take care of the rest. Or get in touch. Or I’m into sales, marketing, journalism, arts and public speaking and need a job. It’s all up to you. Just don’t forget what YOU want.

People want to stop turning verbal communication issues into non-verbal ones, so I thought they’d just silently “get” it and stop. It worked in downtown Toronto by September 2012. But, I had to stop and it came back. Now, I’m out, or “Just A Gigolo” or “Rent-A-Man” with manswers. Don’t take it for granted. Call me to do whatever you want. Except with help.

Like Coldplay’s “Paradise” (not parasite) it should be nice to meet you. Non-verbally, men exchange eye contact to stay polite, busy, brief and move out of the way with no worries. When women can be and men agree they’re inherently special, they both relax. Ironically, men just need to focus on something, like figuring out how to control the future. Women are better at multi-tasking to handle food, fashion, fun, charm, grace, competing with men’s ambition for their security and vanity, feeling safe and sexy, trading validating vulnerability for power with ballsy men who help them cross streets and so on. Plus, if you say it to 300 they start dancing! Men are busy, relax with “The Real Her” (Drake) wherever and go back happy. Women feel relaxed, bored and mischievous and distract men in mysterious, brilliant and beautiful ways. People empower each other. This is what you want to believe in and you got it coming. Get in touch to get it done.

Ladies: turn up the Taylor Swift and feel your eggs, I’m just a happy hippy like Deepak Chopra with bigger balls, so “Take A Shot For Me” (Drake). We all flirt so you can be vulnerable, plus some man knows better so he’d better. We can relax, enjoy fruity drinks and grilled chicken sandwiches and joke about how to fix them. Or “I Don't Want To Wait In Vain For...”

Gentlemen: I’m a “Soldier” (Eminem) and we should “Talk” (Coldplay). All your girls can make you happy. Ask me how.

Talk to you soon,



Helping you figure out...



Note 1:

As the most positive guy I know and someone who comfortably interacts with everyone everywhere and helps them relax, I'd like to meet privately with individuals, couples and groups of men and women, preferably separately, to discuss and deal with a variety of issues that affect all of them.

You can set up meetings wherever you feel comfortable, whether it's in houses, condos, condo meeting rooms, classrooms, bars, churches, on the phone in conference calls or wherever you feel most comfortable. I just want to make sure I can use my voice to convey meaning and feeling.

Please keep in mind that anyone in the world is welcome to get in touch to discuss these issues with me if they're happening wherever you live.

People are obviously feeling more connected in this "singularity" of sorts, they just need to be able to communicate in more empowering ways.

Nobody is perfect, including myself, but I'm the only person I know who's been working on a solution to this, so you might as well give it a shot.

People can do whatever they want, but need options to compare and think about or will just do the only thing they know. That's where I come in.

Besides, everyone seems to know what I did in 2012 won't work in 2013 because people are more nervous. You know I need money and respect.

We'll discuss anything, including the root causes of resentment, depression, confusion, social constipation, loss of identity, verbal and non-verbal communication problems and more to help people deal with normal cultural influences better. The good news is the answers work. You like them.

You might be scared to hear or discuss them, but that's a terrible way to live, so don't worry: laugh at the stupid, enjoy the smart and that's that.

Don't worry, I can focus on giving people the answers they need the way they need them like I've been doing for two years in Canada. You can even have a few drinks or whatever if you want to help you relax, feel confident and have fun. I'm charming and funny and more as many know.

The proof is I can walk anywhere in Toronto, react to people saying hello and casually pontificate about issues they nearly all worry about, don't discuss and often quickly, nervously and obsessively scratch, wipe, pick, cough and sneeze about instead; plus avoid getting thrown out even when I'm constantly walking, talking, yelling, rapping and singing for several hours, so people are fine with it and have been for over two years.

My goal is to use what works, or people seeing other people acting more confident and relaxed and copying them, so I just need to create more.

All the tortured and nervous socially constipated sketchy behaviour seems to represent what most people are scared to talk about and the more they see and do the more they see and do. This only makes them more worried about their worries and about what anyone will do at any time.

Even if some people on TV do it, that doesn't mean most people should any more than lots of other stupid stuff people on TV do. It's annoying.

People often do this while sitting and bored making them intolerable company. Or, walking, doing it, then often running at or away from people like the dressed-up zombies at the Toronto Zombie Walk who freak out when you look at them. I don't do this at all as a confident man since I'm polite, busy, out of the way and on my way, say it's a bad idea and ignore people who quickly try to trick me into looking at it. All day and night.

Sometimes I practically cover my head with a newspaper to avoid people pestering me and have to ignore women and girls who need attention.

While the men, women and children around could just assume I'm rude and ignore me, instead most try harder to say hello or communicate in more relaxed, relaxing and respectful ways. Most people can see how stupid it is since it's tricky and nobody really wants to see it and so they often stalk others to try to steal attention for it. This destroys the ability for especially women and children to get validation and positive attention, or the reassurance or flattery they need every few seconds from some man wherever they are, typically me. They deserve better from all of us.

Women and girls are especially affected by spazzing out when getting attention since it messes up their inherently special and relaxing nature.

Sometimes it seems like they run away from how I might respond; except all I do is nothing to screw up a great spontaneous moment in history.

Once women and girls especially relax, they can convey their meanings and feelings quickly and clearly in much more natural and graceful ways.

They're also having trouble being vulnerable because they might be attacked by someone trying to steal their attention which is destroying them.

Children are also confused by copying this instead of acting fun: "Tell the children the truth, tell the children the truth right now..." (Bob Marley).

Instead of this mess, women can feel protected and men can feel respected, they just need to find better ways to communicate with each other.

Since I have different reference points than most by-design, I can customize answers for all ages and races and have tested them repeatedly over two years including for nearly three months as of May 2013. The good news is Canadians are basically the same and insist on it, so they just need to insist on a better same fast to relax and have fun. The "Not Itchy But Scratchy Show" behaviour seems to represent what people are scared to discuss. Men look sheepish and weird and forget how to respect each others' time and interest levels. Women stiffen up and lose their femininity when they do this instead of using their normal and graceful beer commercial style abilities to get attention they can control and trust.

While people and especially women may think I'm trying to take away their ability to communicate, in fact it's the exact opposite: I'm fixing it.

Of course, people can do whatever they want, but because I can stop them anywhere and most still say hello, it seems like they want options.

Please get in touch to ensure I can continue to help people fix these problems so that as many as possible relax and enjoy their 2013 summer.


Note 2:
If you don't want to talk about this but still want me to fix it, no problem at all. Just visit a TD Canada branch, use this info and donate cash.

Then I can do things like put up ads around the city that say "Men and Women Should Walk With and Not Against Each Other" and so on.

Once I can operate as a not-for-profit this way, I can have more formal influence on people's behaviour and approach them as a professional.

This is just one example of many things I've said that can work to calm people down wherever they are, so I just need money to promote them.

Of course, people also know what they respect, or being able to make money doing what you do, so if they financially support me this will work.

Just anonymously say I'm a performance artist or whatever who you want to support. If I get enough donations, I'll find ways to finish this myself.

Name: Vijay Sarma

TD Canada Trust Bank Account Number: 3058-6062898


Note 3:

Another option is what two nice and friendly blond women in their late 20's did at approximately 4:30 pm on May 7th, 2013 at the corner of Bay and Front while I was chilling and pontificating on a box. They simply walked up to me smiling and said "This is for you!" and handed me a bag of delicious, salty and sweet whole grain and low fat cracker chips. So, I said thanks and we all said have a great day as they left. I assume this means they want their defacto lawyer to get in better than average shape to represent them and I can do that easily. While people have been quietly nice for the last couple of years and I've had things like extra chicken in my shawarma, I assume these girls singled me out specifically for the only thing they'd know me for and after being self-financed, this is the first formal payment I've received for my efforts over the last two years.

I feel great, like a musician or stand up comic who's been pouring out his heart and soul and working open mic's for two years who know he was on to something because everyone said hello and who finally, finally, finally got his first paid gig with more to come. Like other and even unusual disciplines, being paid gives me credibility and effectively makes me a professional, or a relationship repairman who can help in many ways. I have even said this to people and they instantly react to me in better ways once they know that I'm getting paid for my efforts which helps them.

People say if you work hard at your hobby and you're good you can make a good living, while if you're great you can make a great living. Since nobody else I know of is doing anything about this stuff it's hard to judge, but I assume I'm doing a good job based on all the casual and positive responses everywhere I go. As long people give me more resources like this, or walking up to me and handing me bags or envelopes with enough money or stuff, or any other way (see above), then I can smash this nonsense myself fast so Toronto has a great summer, then use the samples of the different cultures here to export the solutions worldwide. Or, formally consult and work with others to answer questions and solve problems as a smart guy with different things to say who can at least give people options to consider. I can do whatever it takes so I'm easygoing about it.

Please relax and consider your options. It's good to have them and to change this ego-destroying nightmare into a good time being had by all.



Bob Marley and The Wailers - Babylon System



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