Sunday, May 12, 2013

And the World Broken Record Holder Is Backed Into a Corner... So Who's In My Corner?


And the World Broken Record Holder Is Backed Into a Corner... So Who's In My Corner?  


FYI, my latest investigations reveal that people are nice, of course, but also mind-bombed into a zombie stupor as armies of grown-ass men and women, plus unfortunately many children, are attacking me and doing something weird and running away every day everywhere I go. As I said at the Toronto Eaton Centre yesterday to no one and everyone, I'm just an antenna and this is simply revealing how you now say hello in stranger, more socio and psychopathic and less confident ways then ever. It should be nice to meet you, which is better than not, but more and more it's not. People seem to understand this as usual no matter who they are, but they still don't say anything except for looking at me to say hello or just trying to get looked at.

Women and girls are especially floored because once they see each other act crazy and me describing it, I can switch them back to their graceful and girly ways and they're much more relaxed than when they're bitterly attacking me and bitterly leaving because I didn't like it; or I don't validate them for attacking me by either making fun of them or ignoring them. As I said to many of the pushy, tricky, gross and sketchy girls who try to bother me, I can't be mad because you're a girl and I don't want to scare you, so you just don't exist once you know you tried to bother me and then run away; or try to scratch or wipe quickly like you're snapping your fingers at me to get attention. I don't care if you're super-model of the century and you have a big flashing sign over your vagina saying "Come on in!", you still can't disrespect me like that and I'll simply cuss you out or ignore you for trying. As I say to the girls, you can be mad if you want because I'm a man and you don't scare me; I just don't notice because you don't exist since you are not a man, woman or child once you act like a creepy and crazy zombie. Yes, it sounds mean, but you should see all the girly-zombie activity swirling around me. Compared to what was happening just two months ago this is completely insane.

While men are rugged individual assholes and pussies and resistant to change, once the girls decide to start spazzing out when they get attention these poor sacred cows just try harder and harder to out-spazz each other and quickly herd themselves off a cliff, just like how they nearly all act and dress the same when trends change. This is happening everywhere, or the same big-shot Bay Street guys in the PATH or the "Nightmare on Bay Street" who were shocked at how easily I was flirting with or at least positively interacting with all of their girls every few seconds in March 2013 are more shocked by how rare this happens in May 2013 after they've been following and beating the hell out of these girls in those narrow corridors for two years or not stopping it. The same damn girls everywhere are losing their abilities to enjoy themselves fast and at least feel better for a bit with some man keeping an eye on them. I'm not complaining at all because I'm not getting the attention since I can simply take it or leave it. I'm saying that they only flirted or engaged with me because they saw others do it, saw I knew what I was doing and wanted to because it was fun for them. These days, instead of interacting quietly in enjoyable ways I just cuss 'em out constantly. But, instead of not saying hello anymore, they all try to figure out what's wrong and work harder to get their chicky-stuff back in shape.

Children and girls in particular are a major concern because they're ability to feel at least "safe" and possibly "cute" is being destroyed when they try to run at me or by me and then run away like it's a game. My heart breaks when I see 10 year old girls try to attack me for fun instead of feeling like they're fun with my help.

As I've said to many women and girls who try this, or who try to nonchalantly zombie at me or in front of me instead of using their girly-powers to secure permission: of course you can get away with it because as a man I know what I'm doing and you can see that I don't mess with anyone this way, even the armies of people who silently mess with me. However, what does it get you? Do you feel better because you got away with instead of got something? Do you feel special because I ignored you trying to bother me? Do you think you really affected me on some disempowered power-trip when I've dealt with hundreds of thousands of men doing the same thing and they barely affect me even being much bigger and stronger? Do you really want to act like the men who follow you and crowd you and bother you after they do this with each other and when this type of zombiehaviour doesn't work well to help them validate each other or make them happy? Do you really want to try and make threatening strange or even semi-familiar men normal and ever worry about the consequences? Do you want to lose your ability for any men to treat you well by forgetting how to get it?

Besides, many women and girls are just going to do stupid shit, feel like shit, then let some man treat them like this because they feel they deserve it, or abuse them verbally or physically, or act cold and disinterested because they are, or because they're getting feminized and jealous and force women to work harder to try to get them back. Or somethings like that in some cases. Perhaps if any then too many. I'm trying to fix this.

This stuff works, at least temporarily, but I don't know what the heck they're up to when I'm not around and I can't stand to see them getting worse and worse each time I see them, probably because they're being constantly harassed by strange men with no others but me protecting them and are rebounding to try and harass them back, which is terrible for everyone. Women are now just running on their own even when no other man or woman is bothering them on their own when they get attention from me which is shocking and disturbing and makes me either try to control them and calm them down, or give up when I can't because they're too far gone and sketchy. They never used to have a problem being vulnerable around an invulnerable man before, so this alarming development makes me wonder if we'll ever see them again. This is why I'm not dating or settling for one. I want power over all of them to try and fix them and their men too and getting it.

Since people around me inevitably react well to these comments no matter who they are and where I am, it's entirely possible that more formal explanations with financial support either in the form of ads that I put up with things I say that work or formal conversations with people can fix many of the root causes of these issues. Something had better work or people had better be prepared to deal with whatever they turn into.

Sometimes I'll say "Why me?" But, then I just say "Why not?" and keep going. It happens. But not for long.

Perhaps this is all my fault since I'm usually politely conservative and know that most people are scared to talk much in general, or sometimes with me since I'm better at it, so I don't formally engage them as much.

However, I'm going to do this a lot more from now on since every time people see and hear me talk directly with someone in positive, smart, encouraging and friendly ways they seem to be surprised and appreciative of it when they say hello, like the guy who came here from India 25 days ago who approached me for advice about The Hoxton bar near where I was perched at King and Bathurst and then stuff in general. I was happy to oblige with everything from city, country, work, play and girl-stuff while also listening to what he had to say. People might be surprised because of what I've had to do, but of course I can talk to anyone like a normal guy. I've lived here for 39 years, worked mostly in sales, dated and so on. As for my age, I'm a cool young guy for marketing purposes and wise old man for sales. Now I need your money and respect to finish.

It's cool, I would have preferred a bunch of other options, but it seems like I've set things up so that people can be surprised at how relaxed they are when they actually talk to me after being scared to which should have a positive effect and lead to more and more chilled and chilling-out customers. People on the street might still be scared that I'll mention the other stuff that they're scared to talk about, but even when it comes up, I just drop it and move on when they don't show any interest in continuing since that's what everyone is supposed to do with every subject that others don't feel comfortable with anyway. Just like a human being.

While I can still calm people down anywhere as usual with my "Mission Impossible For (?): Ghost Protocol" approach by coming in strong, softening up and then chilling out, it's getting harder and harder to reach them this way, which means it won't work this year and soon won't work at all unless I get some serious help fast.

I've even started yelling at male stalkers "Hey! No scabs! No scabs! Walking slow, looking cool and trying to feel hot is chicky stuff! No scabs! No crossing the chicket line! The girls are on strike this summer until you bastards stop! Now chill out and knock it off and try to use your girly powers in a guy way that doesn't frustrate you and everyone else! You got it?" Fortunately they don't kill me and the girls seem to like it too.

I can always think of new shticky stuff, like my awesome Friday and spill-over Saturday, including discussing how I'm just thinking out loud to clarify the ideas in my head and working on a fictional post-apocalyptic zombie movie set in Toronto in 2013 since we obviously love zombies here based on their commercial appeal, including zombie musicals, TV shows, movies and more, zombie rights campaigns, the Toronto Zombie Walk with over 10,000 people which is the largest in the world, plus all the times that people don't actually get dressed up and do it anyway, or "normal" looking zombies like in the new Brad Pitt movie "World War Z" coming out and so on. My 3D zombie movie should definitely be done by July 1st and this one has a love story and happy ending so you can take the girls to see it, especially if people financially and otherwise support it, just like how you can't get a record deal unless you have hometown fans, but if you do then it's much easier. People know what people respect. If they want to respect me, they have to make me.

As I've also said to many people in the last couple of days, "I'm sorry, but I can only watch "The Walking Dead" on Fibe TV on the Bell Network like the ads say -- or Bell will crush me! I don't have the balls to go at Bell (sorry girls, please try to think of something else) since they've been f--king people for a hundred years, still think I owe them money and my dad and his dad, so they'll crush me! If I watch "The Walking Dead" anywhere but on Fibe TV on the Bell Network, then they'll sue me and have my kids and their kids and their kids working at some call centre in Newfoundland forever and ever. Sorry man, or woman, or child, but I can't watch "The Walking Dead" anywhere else but on Fibe TV on the Bell Network! Sorry!"

Or, I can work on my can't miss retirement plan, or "The Phil Kessel Story" about how the great Maple Leaf played hockey, played it well and made the NHL, which is a no-brainer, just like the zombie-stuff. This obviously means I'll get so damn rich and fat and happy that I will never do a damn worthwhile thing again, including about all the zombie stuff. Why? Because if you don't buy my Phil Kessel movie then some Leaf fan will kill you for disrespecting Phil Kessel by beating you to death with a hockey stick, because really, who the hell do you think you are disrespecting Phil Kessel? So, that's 3 million copies in this city alone easy, plus millions more across Canada. Heck, I'll even hire people to whisper stuff like this in bars like people paid to discuss how the new iPhone is better than the last one. No really, it is. Soon I'll have a house in Forest Hill and cottage in Muskoka and all the boys and girls are invited. I'm even going to buy a bunch of bikinis and leave them there. Of course, the girls can do whatever they want. But, they'll certainly have the bikini option.

However, before I settle into a fat, happy and bloated Brando-like existence of constantly making babies on some island with the locals and constantly eating, even when I'm reading lines in a movie, I'd like to get this zombie stuff done and move on so people can enjoy the great 2013 Toronto Zombie Movie and the happy ending by July 1st, 2013 with a huge party. Of course, there were a few tense moments and things looked grim, but ultimately as I said, a love story and happy ending so women and children can enjoy it too. While I'm not always sure what people want, I'm always sure they try to let me explain it. So, we'll figure it out.





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