Saturday, September 01, 2012

The Return to Nor-Male: Prose and Cons and Options for Me and You / The Hardest Part


The Return to Nor-Male: Prose and Cons and Options for Me and You / The Hardest Part



What a ride.


"And the hardest part,
Was letting go, and not taking part,
It was the hardest part,

And the strangest thing,
Was waiting for that bell to ring,
It was the strangest start..."

- Coldplay, "The Hardest Part", (X&Y)


I miss everything that I had and should have, but based on the results I see, especially the lack of stalking and nervous, needy and creepy behaviour by both sexes and people casually saying hello everywhere no matter where I go on some "oh yeah that stuff" level, it may have been worth it.

People are very sensitive and communicative in a non-verbal way these days.

In fact, most people prefer to interact with me on that level as opposed to more formally at this point. It's like it's our little secret, except nearly everyone knows it. I get knowing looks and vibes and signs that will often communicate far more than normal conversations can today, so that is good news.

People seem to be better able to resist more of their selfish and predatory urges these days.

Despite the fact that I get more casual credit for acting normal than for anything else, or for helping people relax in more normal ways, ironically that is only because of the public speaking-reference point that people have. It is a strange situation, but one that could pay dividends as nearly everyone feels the same.

People are the same and mostly want to make a little love, a little money, a few mistakes and relax.

Sometimes I have conversations, like an older lady who started talking to me at a bus stop about how she didn't feel as safe as she used to traveling downtown since she watched the news and was worried about muggings, gropings and sexual assaults and more. I said hopefully men will keep and eye on her and other ladies and we're working on that and gave her my card with my website. From what I could tell she knew who I was and was alluding to things, so I was alluding to them back and that happens quite often.

People are in the mood to talk around things when they can't talk about them; or signal their understanding.

Unfortunately, since I have taken the last few weeks off to recover and look for gainful employ since I didn't get the financial support I needed to match the moral support I was getting from people, things that I could help prevent by speaking up and against them and presenting people with options that can help them deal with it instead of just normally accepting the ways things are may be flaring up again. This is just one public example, but there are probably lots of others that don't get the publicity that should be dealt with soon.


Four more sex assaults reported downtown

The Canadian Press | Globe & Mail | Friday, Aug. 31 2012

Toronto police say four more victims have come forward after they issued a public warning about a string of sex attacks against women in a downtown neighbourhood.


Naturally the Krista Ford tweet about who women should dress is getting more news than anything else, but that's not going to help. Regardless of how a woman wants to dress or what she wants to do, in most cases if a strange man is bothering her and no other man wants to help her, she's in trouble and maybe men too. This is especially true today in our quiet culture where people are often scared to ask for help or say anything to strangers and both sexes are in the same boat if people continue to act selfish, predatory and crazy.

That's why I was speaking up so loudly and proudly as long as I could.

Anyway, I am still asking people to donate to support me since there is a lot of money in this city and people work hard for it and I worked hard for theirs and had a significant impact improving their quality of life while seeing mine go down the tubes. After hustling for odd jobs I landed a full-time one and will start soon, but this is taking my brain out of the game, or no matter what happens and what people are doing to each other, if it is not "normal" to talk about it then I won't be able to either or I will risk losing everything again.

There is an interesting wrinkle to this that I built into the process that can come in handy .

By now, at least in Toronto, I am very recognizable for my efforts everywhere even when I am not saying or doing anything thing different or particularly presentable. This may mean that the bigger my profile gets the more people will respect what I have said and relax and get along better. I am basically a visual reminder of the response to behaviour that nobody particularly liked, which basically amounted to people bothering each other too much including strangers. People can either choose to leverage or lose this brand if they wish.

That is up to them (see below) and I can do my part, but for now I return to nor-male and wish you all well.




Coldplay - The Hardest Part



Public Speaker

Helping people out as a public speaker who shares good relationship advice with lots of people at once so they see each other and feel empowered enough to use it works. Hundreds a day say hello, which is why I continue. With no hat to take donations, people can simply donate anonymously to say thanks.

TD Bank Account Number: 3058-6062898

Patrons of the arts have always existed and today people often donate to support independent artists finishing albums and more. As someone who positively influences our culture by sharing ideas that help men and women relax and get along, I appreciate your help so that I can continue to evolve this approach.

Thank you very much and I look forward to hearing from you.



Vijay Sarma
Ask Vij Consulting
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