Ask Vij Consulting
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Please visit WhatYouWantToBelieveIn.com
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You
You,
like most people, are probably open to advice that can help you feel
empowered. There is a lot to choose from, so advice is being shared this
way to add to what you know and learn, help you figure out what you
want to believe in, and improve your relationships so you can relax and
feel happier.
My name
is Vijay Sarma or "Vij" (Veej). While traveling, working in film,
journalism, business, the arts and more, speaking and performing in
front of thousands and being inspired by artists and historical
figures, I have been sharing advice on how people can casually and
formally communicate better.
Do you see people as problems or solutions?
Would you like to see more people as solutions?
Can you ask yourself what would make your life easier?
Can
It
can be easy to think more positively about more people and experiences
where we live. It's hard without proof, but people can do simple things
to bring the best out of more people to relax and enjoy each others'
company. Basic social physics principles can help create social
contracts and safety nets.
Men
and women can also improve many of their relationships by learning more
ways to uniquely recognize and appreciate their differences more often
to help them feel more masculine and feminine. Men can meet more women
they like and women can meet more men they like and it is easy and fun.
Can men be more stable and women more charming?
Can men bring out the best in women and women the best in men?
Can people change how they relate to each other to improve how they feel?
Relax
People
can simply do what they want with what they hear. If it's stupid, they
can laugh at it. If it's smart, they can use it. It's that easy. So, you
can relax. If you would like to arrange a time to discuss this online,
on the phone, or in-person, then please call, text or email to figure
out what works best for you.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours,
Vij
Vijay Sarma
.
Note:
While
I have proven the value of and written down many ideas, they are best
shared in conversations to clarify things and answer questions.
For example:
Social Physics 101: General Rules of Silent Public Engagement in Passing for Men and Women to Help Them Empower Each Other
While
individuals may differ, generally speaking men and women can relax and
appreciate each other more in public in passing on a regular basis by
observing a few simple timeless and timely rules. Physical proximity and
attention are the most important thing. People should generally be
conservative in their interactions and offer strangers extra space and
privacy. People can either respond with compelling requests for
attention or leave you alone as well.
Most
men can scare most women just by staring at or coming close to them;
but most women can't scare most men that way. As long as this is
generally true, then people know they have to rely on each other being
disciplined in their daily interactions to feel happy. Since 90% of
communication is non-verbal and often with strangers, it's good to get
it consistently right and to receive positive, energizing and
empowering feedback from people whenever possible.
Of course, it sounds easy. And it is. And fun.
What do men and women want from each other?
This basic advice may help more people figure it out.
1. Men want to feel powerful and respected.
2. Women want to feel safe and appreciated.
3. Men are bigger, stronger and more threatening.
4. Women need men to help them feel safe and sexy.
5. Men need women to respect them without fearing them.
6. Women need men to appreciate them without scaring them.
7. Men have a simple job: prevent themselves from bothering anyone.
8. Women have a more complicated job: to find ways of appreciating that.
9. Men should usually try to politely avoid strange women to avoid scaring them.
10. Women should react to these efforts in generally positive and approving ways.
A
simple rule of thumb for a man when seeing a woman is they prefer brief
acknowledgement; then physical and mental avoidance; then may request
reassurance, or another brief "I'm not going to bother you" look
followed by more avoidance; then may request a flattering look if all
goes well. The most important thing for men is to try polite,
conservative, quiet and still avoidance to make sure women can relax.
While
nobody owes anybody any response except for not physically or verbally
bothering others, politely and briefly acknowledging each other on a
regular basis can work to help us relax and feel better more
consistently, especially in crowded cities where people see and casually
engage with lots of people in close quarters on a regular basis. They
can either upset each other or make each other happy nearly all the
time.
To respect
everyone's time and interest-levels, the classic "guy nod" or a simple
confident, comfortable and knowing look is likely the best way to
suggest a friendly, respectful and harmless approach in passing to help
people relax whenever they see each other. The guy nod consists of
slightly bowing or raising one's head, briefly making eye contact, then
generally ignoring the person in front of them quickly to show they
will.
After men
acknowledge each other, because of the potential stress and confusion,
they should minimize staring and non-verbal communication unless they
are forced to get closer and need to quickly reassure each other that
they won't cause problems; or unless something is said, done or
happening that suggests trading specific looks about something specific
out of mutual interest. Otherwise relax as soon as someone lets you.
After
men and women trade brief looks, women can either relax and either
ignore a man; or act feminine and casually flirt if they want to by
getting a man's attention like in a beer commercial. They can seem
engaged or oblivious. Women love to make busy men dizzy. It gives them
competition for the attention they seek and reassurance in knowing the
man is probably going to get back to something when they are finished
distracting him.
As
long as men are polite, busy and moving out of the way while thinking of
something compelling, they can create the cultural conditions for women
to relax and do something compelling to distract them and feel
consistently validated for their looks, grace and femininity so both
sexes feel flattered and compelling. People should give each other
credit for helping each other relax, which may include casually relaxing
and flirting with each other a lot.
To wit:
If
men are conservative then women can be liberal, or if men chill-out
then women can show off, which is empowering and fun for both sexes.
.
.
.
Can
Q. Can you find more ways to casually flirt with men or women all day just for the empowering fun of it?
Q. Can you continue to think positive and find more ways to feel more confident by feeling more capable?
Q. Can you figure out how to appreciate your time to enjoy where you live, what you do and who you are?
Q. Can you appreciate and be appreciated as a man or woman by acting like and seeing men and women?
You
As
long as you can find options, you can consider what works for you.
Problem-solving, conflict-resolution and advice for organizations,
groups, families, teens, couples and individuals is available. Or,
empowering chats about life, love and relationships to help people
figure out how to get along better.
Groups
of open-minded men and women together or separately would work so
people see how others feel about what they all hear, including beliefs
being challenged. This will help give them the confidence to use the
advice they like. While not every answer will work for you, you can
get the ones that do.
Instead of worrying about the same things, do you want to find different answers?
Before breaking up, or getting divorced, would you like to look into all of your options?
You can often figure out what you want, but do you know what you want from each other?
Do you have to lie to family and friends and tell the truth to strangers to make people happy?
Would you like to find more ways to feel respected and valued as a unique and special individual?
Relax
Discussions
can be held on the phone, over web-cams, at condo meeting rooms, high
school or college classrooms, bars or churches, homes or anywhere
private. While relationship consulting is among the best ways to empower
the most people, feel free to ask about other areas to see if there's a fit.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours,
Vij
Vijay Sarma
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.
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Relax
Relax. Instead of saying you need to relax, you can simply relax by ensuring others around you are relaxed as well. Men
and women have done this for years and can use many of the same ideas
proven to work today, plus many others. Most people react well to them
and they are easy for anyone to try.
As
an experienced public speaker, radio and event host, interviewer and
performer, I can adapt easily for different audiences. While I am open
to requests, I prefer private discussions with individuals, couples and
groups to provide holistic and personalized advice and to make sure
people get what they need.
Do you see more people having problems confidently communicating with each other?
Have you ever been put off by somebody who was being needy and creepy with strangers?
Would you like to make sure you have some help just in case anybody decides to bother you?
Could different social rules of engagement help men and women feel more relaxed more often?
You
If
someone created and showed you a chair for the first time, you could
say "What about 8-foot tall people?", or recognize they might do
something different while most people would be happy with a normal sized
chair and different styles. It may be worth looking at a few other
ideas like this as well.
Of
course, not every idea you hear will work for you, but if a few do and
they help you relax and do what you do better, they may be worth
hearing. People may want to
believe in themselves and others and simply need more ways to.
Regardless of what you want to believe in, it's good to figure it out.
Can
Please feel free
to get in touch so you can compare the advice you get to the rest you
hear and to make your own decisions. And of course, to relax.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours,
Vij
Vijay Sarma
.
.
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posted by Black Krishna at 7:29 PM
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