MEA CULPA BULL: Death of a Bully, Birth of a Person and Pop Star, Feb 25th, 2014, 7:30 pm

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Drake - Furthest Thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j6VAg_QlvQ

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"Somewhere between psychotic and iconic,
Somewhere between I want it and I got it,
Somewhere between I'm sober and I'm lifted,
Somewhere between a mistress and commitment,

But I stayed down,
Girl I always stay down,
Get down, have her lay down,
Promise to break everybody off before I break down,

Everyone just wait now,
So much on my plate now,
People I believed in,
They don't even show their face now,

What they got to say now?
Nothing they can say now,
Nothing really changed,
But still they look at me away now,

What more can I say now?
What more can I say now?
You might feel like nothing was the same...

I've still been drinking on the low, mobbin' on the low,
Flirtin' on the low, smokin' on the low,
I've still been plottin' on the low, schemin' on the low,
The furthest thing from perfect, like everyone I know..."

- Drake, "Furthest Thing"

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Excuse me, but this particular post is cathartic and will help me re-focus and re-commit to what I want and need to do for my own sake and maybe everyone else's. I'm involved in something I can't escape that will either destroy me or I will destroy it. Or, maybe not. But, it's a possibility. Fortunately, just one of many.

So, after screwing around and wasting time and getting unproductively pissed-off recently, I'm doing what I really want to do, which is ignoring it. As long as I can relax and stay confident and and happy and maintain my focus on making a million dollars, everything else will work out fine for me and possibly everyone else.

While it's now in style to freak out, twitch, spazz, be rude, pushy and act like a zombie, I'm just not letting it bother me because I'm not noticing it. I'm a busy man doing important things with high standards for attention and if someone else doesn't have them, or if they don't respect themselves or me, then that's perfectly fine.

To repeat for the umpteenth-millionth time, this includes: wiping, scratching, picking, coughing, sneezing, eating, drinking and more instead of talking in fast, tricky and jarring ways, or guys acting like pushy and spazzy zombie-girls who don't take their faux-femininity seriously unlike real gays guys who are chilled-out.

This includes girls copying them, or vice versa since it all looks the same and based on how it's sold it looks like nobody wants to look at it. I think guys saying less started using female body language to compensate, then jealously harassed girls to steal their mojo, and now just keep copying girly-stuff they keep breaking.  

I'm not judging. I'm just not noticing. Or, as a couple of my t-shirts say, "Respect Me or You Disappear" and "Relax and Help Us Feel Confident". I'm just focused on what I'm doing instead of reacting to rude, nervous, twitchy, pushy and spazzy people which often just makes them feel embarrassed and makes me look rude.

For example, like I said to people nervously harassing me with tricky nonsense, I can't just walk up to their table, jab my ass in their faces and fart, trick them into smelling it, then complain or feel bad when they don't say or look like they feel it smells good. People know they're trying to trick you into nonsense just like that.

Therefore, as of 7:30 pm on February 25th, 2014, the official schism and prism has re-begun, or the "BK / VJ" or "Will / Chill" split. While the former dropped his voice and took extreme positions to avoid being bothered, or to help people not bother each other, instead of doing that I'm just focused on what I'm doing.

To wit: most people don't like how I look at what they're now doing, so I and we might as well just skip it.

Of course, I'll still look at people when I have to so they know I won't bother them, but otherwise... meh.

Tip: trying to avoid zombieing just encourages more to get attention, but focusing on something else doesn't.

The great thing about being able to speak on issues that trouble nearly everyone nearly all the time that they have trouble speaking about is I can really influence and help people. The horrible thing is that unless I really focus on doing a great job then I don't. So, all that effort goes into the art, while the rest goes into the biz.

Or, to quote the great band Coldplay after Chris Martin probably got pissed off at similar stuff:

"Cause I feel like they're talking, in a language I don't speak, and they're talking it to me..."

- Coldplay, "Talk" (X&Y)

Like me, he has the advantage of speaking to millions of people who like it when most can't, but still...

As soon as I know someone is trying to make me feel nervous for no reason they choose to explain, or that I can understand, at least not in depth, they just disappear. If they want to reappear they can talk to me, but otherwise they stay disappeared because unless people want to talk to me I don't have much interest in them.

While the only reason I'd take any time to respond or clarify things is to be nice, it often seems like I'm just bullying people with my ability to verbalize what they're just nervously twitching about, which just makes them feel embarrassed and guilty, especially when I start to get grumpy and self-indulgent about it myself.

Of course, some people will be mad about me in particular not giving them attention, or a busy alpha male doing important things who's somewhat of a celebrity and famous for it. But, unless they help me relax and stay in a good mood while respecting my time and interest-levels, it's not worth it to crap on them if I look.  

Ironically, competition for my attention increases the harder it is to get. This can be stressful at times, but only if I notice it, so I choose not to. Unless people are relaxed, relaxing and respectful and show me something worth looking at, or want to connect confidently once in a while instead of insecurely a lot, then forget it.

This allows me to be more interesting than ever while waiting for people interested to talk to me about what they want to, whether it's my stuff or theirs. After discussing it with a good friend, I'm also scaling back my natural confidence. So, instead of usually trying to bring people up, instead I will meet them on their level.

To wit: instead of being confused by switching between third and first-person, I'm giving up on the former.

My renewed laser-beam focus is on making a million dollars instead of a million people and the former can take care of the latter. I've said it before and will say it again, but when you have thousands a day expressing their frustrations it's hard to ignore it. However, I have my website and people have their options. That'll do.  

Unless I can make a lot of money helping people, not enough people will respect it for it to work and help deal with our most pressing issues. Or, nervous people making each other nervous over and over again until we all feel stressed and depressed and drop dead of cancer, for example, among other bad possibilities.

This brings me to the "Death of a Bully, Birth of a Person and Pop Star", which is hugely important when it comes to comfortably being the "nice" person that I am, even with rude people, or people confused into becoming pushy, spazzy and narcissistic zombies. As long as I can engage politely, or not at all, I'm good.

Instead of trying to control the game, I'm staying busy and waiting for the game to come to me. As long as my attention is worth something, people will either respect it and formally address it, or they'll pay me for it, or they'll stop wanting it, which is perfectly fine since I never cared for it, at least not in the general sense.

The person is waiting to talk to anyone who wants to and the pop star is waiting to go on stage and express what most people can't in well-developed and creative ways. After trying options I realized there's no other way to play it. I can't go big enough in small environments and don't want to just go big enough anywhere.

As usual I'm relaxed, positive, confident, busy and happy and looking forward to a future I'm helping to craft and control on behalf of and along with everyone else who wants to. All people have to do is get in touch or support me financially and we're in business. Otherwise I'm out of theirs and into my own to take care of it.

Thanks for your indulgence. It's been a hell of a ride and if you want to we've still got places to go together.

Cheers,

BK / VJ

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WYWTBI Consulting

Business    .    Creative    .    Personal

http://whatyouwanttobelievein.com/

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Coldplay - Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH9meoWmAOM

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