Thursday, September 20, 2012

Retour a la Normale... Ecole Normale Superior?


Well, I have been touring the Greater Toronto Area while working at a few different locations and see almost nothing troubling to react to. So, I haven't said anything even given the odd chance to. I hardly see straight men bothering me or other men for needy and creepy attention, or to look at their body-parts or feminine body language, or for physical closeness that we don't want to give them. Even when a gay guy tried briefly yesterday to get extra attention from me, I just politely and briefly looked and smiled a couple of times and he got the hint and had enough pride to avoid persisting like most gay guys do, which is just fine with me.

To make up a Biblical-sounding quote: Neither a beggar nor a botherer be. (Evijians 20:13) 

I also hardly see any men stalking women despite it being an epidemic a few months ago. Women also seem much calmer and more thoughtful in their actions as well. Couples who interact with me are so cute as many seem to be figuring out what to do, including women making a point to briefly say hello and empower their man in the process by focusing attention on him instead of showing him up while he takes charge of the interaction. After having women locally know and like and want to flirt with me, ensuring that I could help explain when and how it was appropriate to avoid disempowering their men was a big part of the process.

So, I am hanging out in Normalville and generally enjoying myself and my normal financial stability.

Many people still want me to communicate with them either in non-verbal or verbal ways, but to be honest, except for briefly smiling and looking at people to communicate, I never really figured out the new non-verbal stuff. I can guess at some stuff and as long as it's brief and polite I don't mind acknowledging it, but I don't get why I should stare at people scratching their heads, rubbing their faces, picking their noses and ears, rubbing their bodies and more for very long. Even if a woman is stunning, unless she's doing something more feminine than the aforementioned, I tend to lose interest. It doesn't have to be sexy, just casually feminine.

Can anybody explain what all this stuff means in English? Then I can keep a guide handy for reference.

I know I have seen people on TV do this as well, so it is probably a global meme and it may be a good or bad thing depending on how it's done. When it looked nervous, needy and creepy and people got upset if you didn't stare at them doing the same damn twitchy-thing for very long, then I was sure it was a bad thing and said so publicly since people looked like they wanted others to watch them falling apart. But, people casually acknowledging each other and communicating simple messages especially in crowded cities where formal hello's can scare people or often take too much time isn't such a bad idea. At least that's my guess.

These are areas that somebody should really discuss and figure out if you can find a somebody who will.  

Anyway (wow -- doesn't that word just take the stress away?) I am simply putting this out there to let people know they have options. My read on the vibe on the streets is that people are often happy to see me and casually say hello, but also disappointed that I have stopped saying things that most people were scared to discuss but happy to hear. I am getting a few ear-tugs which can seem to mean either "I heard you" or "I want to hear you" depending on the rest of the presentation. Most people seemed to have moved on to thinking about whatever their other problems are, which is normal, though fortunately I can solve them too.

Except Google isn't listing my website as the top link when you do a search for my name anymore. Ugh.

More anyway (ahh... that's better) I am still looking to be financially supported in a variety of ways by the people I have helped so that I can continue to help them in more creative ways. I don't mind acting normal, but it seems like such a waste of potential. There seems to be a market for the ideas, with the only caveat being that people have trouble discussing half of what I am talking about, so I have to figure out how to casually allude to it. Everyone likes the other half and has for years when it comes to relationship advice, they just don't like that it's tied to the other stuff. However, if it wasn't, the other stuff would still be happening.

Anyway (again), what can you do? I guess that's the question. For now, I will see you see me in Normalville.




Note: this is the latest attempt to put what actually happened back on my website so that it makes sense.


Public Speaker

Helping people relax and get along as public speaker was fun. I saw problems in our culture and shared good relationship advice with lots of people at once so they could see each other agree and feel empowered enough to use it. It worked well and hundreds a day say casual and friendly hello's wherever I go.

This approach started when many people had trouble discussing how many men were acting more feminine, women more masculine and men were stalking women at alarming rates. People were losing sanity and courtesy fast, so I chose to speak up publicly while reacting to situations in public seen by many.

Men were acting nervous, needy and creepy with each other and copying female body language while physically competing with women to get other men to stare at them act like women despite this making nobody happy. Women were emasculating instead of empowering men. Children were copying adults.

Fortunately, after I started explaining things, many confused men and women had a chance to think more about their behaviour and decided to relax and get along better. Creating social disapproval for actions that bothered people was only possible with the help of thousands mainly in Ottawa and Toronto.

Note: the above descriptions don't apply to most gay people, or anyone else making conscious choices and doing it well who doesn't bother people, who I have no issues with. The issues people were having were ones of random harassment, intimidation and needy and creepy behaviour often with strangers.

Public speaking was successful because most people could see each other understand the issues. But, because they had trouble discussing them, it cost me time and money and I had trouble getting paid for it. Even writing about it now is a tough decision that I revisit often as I revise this website. I am risking it.

This is why I am both consulting and requesting donations. After sharing relationship advice with thousands of people, I know what works and many people do and have benefited from this approach. People who want more formal advice can always get in touch, while those who benefit anyway can donate.

Patrons of the arts have always existed and today people will donate to support independent artists finishing albums, movies and more (see the website for example). As someone who exhausted myself trying to help others, I appreciate your help so that I can continue to evolve this approach.

TD Bank Account Number: 3058-6062898

Since I often worked like a busker or performance artist, except with no hat handy to take donations, people who saw me can simply donate anonymously to say thank you by depositing money in the TD Bank Account above. To make donations of cheques, email money-transfers or more, please get in touch.

Please also consider this an investment in your future since many men, women and children have already benefited. With your help, I would like to stop this from happening again by taking many ideas to mainstream platforms and becoming a male version of Oprah. If what happened was possible, so is this. 

Thank you very much and I look forward to hearing from you.



Vijay Sarma
Ask Vij Consulting
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