Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Blueprint - Volume 1: Seeds - PART SEVEN: News As Narrative...

"Ahhhh!!!"

"Tsunami!!!"

"Ahhhhhhh!!!"

"Those poor people!!!"

"Why???"

"Why???"

(...)

(psst, hey you spell tsunami with a "T", right?)

(...)

The Blueprint - Volume 1: Seeds - PART SEVEN: News As Narrative...

(We are tso tscrewed.)

(...)

Bear witness...

Close your eyes...

Now quickly - dunk your head into the rushing stream!

Grab that salmon-sushi-snack of Paris pretty-in-pink saying "hot"!

And she is!

(Even in night-vision green.)

Don't you love Paris Hilton? Wow, what's it like to be an heiress? What's the latest on her and Nicole Ritchie? Yeah Lionel Ritchie's daughter. Are they still fighting? Oh really? That's too bad. Why? Oh, you don't know? What's the latest on...

(...)

What's the latest news?

No-no, not the old stuff.

The NEW stuff.

I just wanna be up to date.

I just wanna know what's going on.

(...)

I just wanna be up to date.

I just wanna know what's going on.

(...)

I just wanna be up to date.

I just wanna know what's going on.

(...)

Is Jacko in jail yet?

Is Darfur done yet?

Is Britany bloated yet?

Is North Korea nuclear yet?

Is Star Wars good yet?

Is Iraq on track yet?

Is...

No-no...

I'm cool.

Just let me know what's up.

Thanks.

(...)

BushGate.

Which one?

The entire Presidency.

(...)

Bushit.

You can't say that.

Of course they're not perfect.

But they've all been bad anyway.

Oh sure, they've done this, and that, and this, and that, and this, and that...

And this, and that, and this, and that...

And this, and that, and this, and that...

(oww.)

(my head hurts.)

(...)

The Resume Conversation - A Play by Black Krishna

ACT ONE - 2005

Chet: Hey, nice to meet you.

Manu: Hey, nice to meet you too.

Chet: So, what do you do?

Manu: Oh, I work here and do this.

Chet: Really?

Manu: Yes. How about you?

Chet: Oh, I work here and do this.

Manu: Really?

Chet: Yes. Where do you live?

Manu: Oh, I live here and it costs this.

Chet: Really?

Manu: Yes.

(applause)

INTERMISSION

ACT TWO - 2006

Chet: Hey man, how's it going?

Manu: Good man, how's it going with you?

Chet: Good. How's work?

Manu: Good. How's work?

Chet: Good.

(applause.)

(-end-)

(...)

The Worst Man for the Job - A Paragraph (or two) by Black Krishna

So, what happens when the worst man for the job gets the job? It's impossible to believe. What happens when the worst man for the job keeps his job? It's impossible to believe. What happens when the worst man for the job hires for a job? It's impossible to believe.

He hires the worst man for the job in every case possible.

A man who raped his wife for 32 years, Dr. David Hager, to the Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee. A man who hates the U.N., John Bolton, to the U.N. A man who designed fantastical policies destined to arm the 3rd World into self-destruction, Paul Wolfowitz, to the World Bank. A woman despised by States worldwide, Condoleeza Rice, as Secretary of State. A man who wrote memo's condoning the torture which gives America a bad name which means they keep getting attacked and so must keep fighting, Alberto Gonzales, to Attorney General. And so on.

So, where's the narrative?

(...)

Pimping Popcorn and Politics - Finding Fahrenheit 9/11

Vox Populi - The voice of the people.

It all happened.

We all watched it.

Not the movie.

The reality.

We may have only caught bits of it.

But we caught it.

Vacuum-sealed, shrink-wrapped, bite-size info-bits.

That still taste stale.

And then, like a burger with a bad bun, they go to shit.

However, maybe if you cook 'em a little differently...

Organize the courses, add spices to bring out the flavour...

Maybe even put a few of together into a 2 hour meal...

(...)

"So, let me get this straight: I can make up 4 years, in 6 hours???"
- Chris Rock on GED's (General Equivalent Diploma's)

(...)

Hmph. Wow.

What type of mental laxatives have we been taking to miss all that shit in 3 years?

And can we really make up 3 years in 2 hours?

I don't think we can.

But I'm glad we tried.

(...)

Vinsanitorium... He Said What Now?

Oh great.

Half-Man, Half-Amazing, Half-Trying.

Go Team Go!

Away!

(...)

(INSERT TEAM NAME HERE)

- Your favourite team.

- They suck.

- They stop trying.

- Your time and money go elsewhere.

(...)

(INSERT NEWS NAME HERE)

- Your favourite news.

- They suck.

- They stop trying.

- Your time and money go elsewhere.

(...)

News needs to be a narrative.

News needs to be responsible.

News needs to be a reminder.

News needs to be news over time.

News needs to be the big picture.

News needs to be accountability.

News needs to be accountable.

News needs to be accurate.

News needs to be... news.

Not just info.

(...)

If your news isn't narrative, it's just not news.

(...)

BONUS:

Or maybe the military should control the news.

Hey, I'm just sayin'...


Rumsfeld Laments Global Reach of War News

By DAVID B. CARUSO,
Associated Press Writer
Thu May 26, 7:21 AM ET

PHILADELPHIA - One of the military's new wartime challenges is dealing with global media that can instantly spread around the world information that may be false or damaging to U.S. interests, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said Wednesday.

The United States needs to respond to anti-American messages with greater agility and speed if it is to win the ideological struggle with Islamic extremists, Rumsfeld said in a speech to members of the World Affairs Council of Philadelphia.

"We'll need to develop considerably more sophisticated ways of using these new means of communication that are now available to reach the many and diverse audiences," he said.

Rumsfeld didn't delve deeply into specifics in his brief talk with members of the civic group. But in the recent past, news outlets have broadcast messages from terrorist groups, or reported stories that have fueled rage against Americans in the Muslim world.

"This is really the first war in history that is being conducted in an era of multiple global satellite television networks, 24-hour news outlets with live coverage of terrorist attacks, disasters and combat operations," Rumsfeld said.

He said U.S. officials must also deal with "a global Internet with universal access and no inhibitions, e-mail, cell phones, digital cameras wielded by anyone and everyone" and "a seemingly casual disregard for the protection of classified information, resulting in a near continuous hemorrhage of classified documents, to the detriment of the country."

The defense secretary was among those who complained earlier this month following deadly riots in Afghanistan after Newsweek published a story that U.S. interrogators desecrated a copy of the Quran at Guantanamo Bay. The magazine later retracted the story amid questions about its truthfulness.

SOURCE - http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050526/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/rumsfeld_media_5