Sunday, January 09, 2005

Target Practice, Target Game, Target Darkies...

Bush-bad! Bush-bad! Bush-bad!

There, I've said it.

In fact, a lot of people have.

However, I really think we should attack Condoleeza Rice because she's a black woman.

(Uh-oh...)

There I go, I've finally lost it. I guess being reincarnated as a former head of the KKK has it's drawbacks, he's been trapped inside my coloured-pinko-ass long enough and he's clappin' back: I ain't 'hood no more, I'm Hood...

Or...

Having studied the game, I think I see how it works: the focused energies of millions of people worldwide on George W. Bush have turned him into the eye of Sauron from Lord of the Rings, a hypnotically powerful force.

So, all of those red-state Bud-swilling red-necks take a look and say: "Hey! All those bark-eatin'-tree-huggin'-granola-gropin'-armpit-hairin'-bra-burnin'-Godless heathens hate our Good Ol' Boy born-again Christian???"

"Well shiiit... FUCK 'EM!!!"

Ahh Dubya... so damn smooth at being so damn dumbass, that EVERYONE grades him on a curve. Up against Mr. John "Rico Suave" Kerry and his $100 haircuts (where does Bush go - SuperCuts?) in THREE debates was just not fair! He's got Bushlexia! He ain't into all that-thar-sissy-book-learnin'! And that damn blue-blood liberal-yuppie freak trying to put gay-sex scenes on the dollar bill ain't what OUR America's all-about! It's about middle-aged white guys who've had the good fortune to have good fortunes - and wanna keep 'em! Dubya understands, Dubya's just like us, and I won't hear one bad word about Dubya! Not from a crappy movie, not from a 100 crappy books, not from a 1000 crappy articles, not from a billion crappy people...

Dubya's just like me: a white-middle-aged-hard-working-Good-Ol'-Boy, and a handsome Devil at that! Those eyes ain't beedy, he's just deep in thought thinking of ways to help America kill people we now really hate with a blinding (and completely blind) rage way over there somewhere, because they hate our freedoms. They want a theocracy, and there's no way He'd allow that with Our Lord Jesus Himself speaking to Him. Buncha freakin' raghead sicko's...

But Condoleeza...

I mean, I've MET black people... there's that nice guy at the store who gives me a gentle nod when he sees me, and doesn't talk too much, now THAT's a nice negro! Or, "African-American", or whatever they call themselves these days. Frankly, I still call'em niggers, but that's just between you and me, the wife hates it when I do that, thinks it's un-Christian... damn woman just doesn't know her place I tell ya...

Stop.

Now think: who's gonna break out the big guns defending Condoleeza with as much evidence against her with as much blind fealty? Who's gonna relate as easily? Mr. Gun Rack? Janet Jackson's big-black-titty freaked-out white-America, and with Strom Thurmond dead the GOP hard-on for black-chicks likely died with him...

Now, I'm not saying attack her blackness, I'm saying attack her piss-poor politics, because she's just as much of an asshole as the rest of 'em, and is the weakest member of the herd. We gotta face American-facts, on the race totem-pole "black" is the lowest member, and on the sex totem-pole "female" is the lowest member. With no gays around except for "The Hidden Gimp" formerly known as Dick Cheney's daughter, it's time to cook some Rice...

A male activist-friend told me this was "unethical", so he would never do it. A female activist-friend told me THAT was "sexist", and that if she wants to play with the Big White Boys she should be prepared to take the heat. As you can guess, I tend to agree. If her credibility is destroyed as Dubya's hand-picked house-negress, the Secretary of Freakin' State, then Dubya looks bad, which is (unbelievably) a nice start...

I'm not saying I'm going to stop picking on Dubya, even as his puppeteers struggle to control his deteriorating dementia. But hey, success is the name of the game, and standing on unproven principle while bombs kill Iraqi children and No Child Left Behind kills American ones, ain't better. And, even the red-states'll agree: like potato chips, having just one-gun simply ain't enough...

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